Tag Archives: National Adoption Awareness Month

Family Preservation, Family Reunification, Supporting Fostered Youth: NAAM

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This is day 30 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees. Today I am also making a pitch for family preservation, reunification, and support for fostered youth.

This final day of National Adoption Awareness Month is also “Giving Tuesday,” a day dedicated to generosity and doing good.

So in honor of both NAAM and Giving Tuesday, I will ask that you consider looking at family preservation organizations any time you think about adoption. We can chip away at the forces that divide families, and keep more children safe and with their mothers and fathers. It is an ambitious goal, I realize. There are many worthy organizations doing this work, and I urge you to learn about and support them.

For today, here are three organizations devoted to reuniting families divided by adoption, to supporting birth parents, and to providing resources to youth in foster care.

Beteseb Felega/Ethiopian Adoption Connection BF/EAC is “a free, grassroots effort to reconnect Ethiopian family members separated by adoption, and to provide compassionate support to adoptees, birth family members, and adoptive parents.” Their unique “internet database contains Ethiopian adoption information (in Amharic and English) provided by adopted people/adoptive parents and birth families who are looking for each other…For Ethiopian families, we explain the system through which their children were adopted and provide meaningful guidance regarding reunion and ongoing contact with their adopted children. EAC is the only organization committed to giving a voice to Ethiopian families while providing services focused on their well being post adoption.”

Saving Our Sisters Saving Our Sisters (SOS) “focuses on family preservation utilizing our pool of national volunteers to support parents and their families by providing them with resources to navigate their crisis and build confidence in themselves and their abilities. These actions help show families that they are who and what their babies need, and gives them the confidence to overcome their temporary crisis. SOS, through information, advocacy and support, provides families the ability to make truly informed decisions for the best possible outcome – eliminating the trauma of separation for the infant, existing and future generations of their family.”

Treehouse for Kids Treehouse is an organization based here in Seattle that believes that “every child, youth and young adult who has experienced foster care should have access to essentials such as clothing, school supplies, extracurricular activities, job supplies and even car insurance.” Treehouse offers “tutoring and academic remediation while also eliminating financial barriers to success in school for both youth in foster care and young adults in Extended Foster Care (EFC).” NAAM’s original intent was to promote adoption of children from foster care; NAAM has changed a lot over the years to include more voices. Supporting the needs of foster care youth should remain a priority. Treehouse does that.

Final thoughts on theis final day of NAAM:

Everyone, including adopted people, has the human and civil right to know who they are (this refers to Original Birth Certificates and medical history access, as well as to eliminating fraud in adoption).

Support family preservation.

Listen to adoptees.

Adoptee Voices Rising: NAAM

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This is day 29 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees..

Adoptee Voices Rising is “an adoptee-led, social justice group that advocates for the adoptee community through political engagement and legislation.” The group is relatively new on the scene, though the leaders have a well-established presence in the adoptee community.

AVR is reaching out to the adoptee community to see what issues are of most interest. Here is a link to their survey, with apologies: the deadline is November 30 to return it. Adoptees: please fill it out!

According to their Instagram page, they are tracking and acting on issues such as original birth certificates and post-adoption services. Another important focus is adoptee citizenship. They are among the groups partnering with the Alliance for Adoptee Citizenship.

AAC is “a coalition of organizations dedicated to passage of the 2021 Adoptee Citizenship Act in the 117th Congress (H.R. 1593 & S967). Our network is made up of a diverse group of adoptees, adoptive families, grassroots organizing and advocacy groups, and allies—all of whom are working together to amend a technical oversight in the Child Citizenship Act of 2000. This oversight has resulted in the exclusion of thousands of intercountry adoptees from rightfully receiving automatic citizenship as legally adopted children.” Please take a look at their website, and support citizenship for all international adoptees.

You can follow Adoptee Voices Rising on Facebook, Insta, and Twitter. I don’t know if their name is a reference to the phoenix, that strong Egyptian-mythical bird that rises from the ashes to resurrection, and whose tears have life-saving powers. I can see it as a metaphor in adoption community work. In any case, let’s those adoptee voices rising.

The Complexity of Visiting Korea, By a Korean Adoptee: NAAM

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This is day 28 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees..

I am fascinated by other languages, and especially by the difficult-to-translate meanings of some words. For example, I love the word “fernweh,” German for “farsickness,” or a longing for place you’ve never been to and can never go to. Another favorite is “hiraeth,” a Welsh word that roughly translates to a longing for a place that was never yours, a place to which you can’t return. Both have some relevance to adoption.

Leslie Maes, a Korean adoptee raised in Belgium, has written an article published in The Korea Times about “han” and “jeong” for adoptees. Maes notes that “han” is a Korean word “that could be described as an ‘internalized feeling of deep sorrow, grief, regret and anger.'”  “Jeong,” he writes, “can be described as ‘a feeling of loyalty and of strong emotional connection to people and places.’ ” 

Maes would like to see the Korean adoptee community take on the embodiment of ‘jeong.’ “This emotion is the true gift we get from adoption, and one of the things I am really grateful for.

When looking at the difficult lives some adoptees have had, and how poor adoptee support systems are, it is comforting and reassuring to see how supportive and organized Korean adoptees are, globally. Sure there’s a lot of politics going on within groups and between community leaders, as in any kind of community.

But with a difficult start in life, often no support from Korea, nor from the receiving countries, adoptees are doing a great job in creating and connecting. Most adoptees are doing this work for free and in their free time.”

I’ve known many international and transracial adoptees who do not feel “Korean enough,” or Chinese enough,” or “Black enough,” or “Colombian enough.” One of the frequent losses in international adoption is the loss of one’s original language. Some adoptees of course learn (or re-learn) their original languages; perhaps others incorporate the bits of language that bring comfort to them. Maybe it’s a way of filling in missing pieces.

This article, printed in The Korea Times, is, according to an Editor’s Note, “the 24th in a series about Koreans adopted abroad. Apparently, many Koreans never expected that the children it had sent away via adoption would return as adults with questions demanding to be answered. However, thousands of adoptees visit Korea each year. Once they rediscover this country, it becomes a turning point in their lives. We should embrace the dialogue with adoptees to discover the path to recovering our collective humanity. ― ED.“

Intercountry adoption in many ways began with Korean adoptees after the Korean War, and they are the largest group of intercountry adoptees to the U.S., if not globally. I am not aware of any other “sending” country that has offered to promote the viewpoint of adoptees this way. Wouldn’t it be great if other countries followed this example, and amplified, or at least encouraged, the voices of adult adoptees?

“Found” Documentary, About Chinese Adoptees: NAAM

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This is for day 27 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees, posted on day 28.

“Found” is a new documentary on Netflix about Sadie, Chloe, and Lily, three adoptees from China raised in the United States. They connected via DNA testing because they turned out to be cousins, and then went to China together, along with their adoptive families, to see if they could make deeper connections.

I always worry a bit about documentaries like this that feature adopted minors going through a complicated part of life. My understanding is that these young women were teens when the film was made. According to a Newsweek article, Lily is a senior in college now, and Sadie and Chloe are high school seniors. That’s pretty young for exposure like this. Chloe is the niece of the film’s producer, Amanda Lipitz.

The three girls are wonderful—insightful, funny, bright, empathetic. They clearly have a tight bond; traveling together and sharing the bond of being adopted was vital. It’s poignant to watch them with their families—the scene where Sadie’s adoptive mom is showing her old family photos is powerful. Equally poignant and powerful is the Chinese genealogist, Liu Hao, who aims to help the girls find their birth families by posting their photos in websites, responding to leads, getting DNA samples, traveling to rural areas, and showing remarkable empathy.

And the nannies who cared for the girls when they were babies in the orphanage: in “Found,” these women are shown to be loving and deeply connected to the children in their care. That is of course not always the case in orphanages around the world,

Also poignant are the scenes of the Chinese families who are not matched with their never-forgotten daughters via Liu Hao’s efforts. Reading the English subtitles is important, but the looks on their faces are stunningly revealing.

There is no tidy resolution to the film, which will not surprise anyone who has been involved in adoption and in birth parent searches. China is especially difficult that way, as baby girls are abandoned and few records are available. There are some “successful” matches, and that is just the beginning of a complicated journey.

I am struck by the film’s title: “Found.” The opposite of Lost, but who was found? Who remains lost? Who cannot be found, and yet remains present?

The documentary is both emotional and pragmatic. I wish Sadie, Chloe, and Lily all the best.

Adoptee Influencer Network: NAAM

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This is for day 26 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees, posted on day 27.

According to their Facebook page, Adoptee Influencer Network (AIN) exists “to EMPOWER adoptee influencers to hone their skills, know their worth and create excellent content; SUSTAIN adoptee influencers through facilitating equitable compensation for their work; and SATURATE the adoption space with adoptee centered content.”

That all sounds good to me.

Adoptee-founded and adoptee-centric, AIN “is a creative group of adoptees who amplify one another’s voices. We are artists, creatives, and professionals in a variety of fields. 

WE DO NOT ALL AGREE, but we know the world is wide enough for all of our perspectives. You don’t have to create content on adoption to join.”

The AIN Facebook page is full of events, books, and articles, by and about adoptees. They are actively welcoming adoptees to share their creative enterprises. On the AIN website, you can sign up for their newsletter, look at the most popular posts, and even shop for adoptee-related merchandise.

Adoptees empowering adoptees, and amplifying adoptee-centered content: that is a great focus for National Adoption Awareness Month.

Finnish Adoptees Call For Investigation of Fraud: NAAM

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This is for day 25 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees, posted on day 27.

A group of international adoptees in Finland has called for an investigation of fraudulent adoption practices in their adoptive country. The adoptees (from Ethiopia, China, India, Colombia, Taiwan, Austria, South Korea, Thailand, and Bangladesh) are calling upon the government of Finland to look into historic “irregularities” in adoption practices.

The group sent a Letter to the Editor of Hufvudstadsbladet, the highest-circulation Swedish-language newspaper in Finland. Here is the letter in English, via Inter Country Adoptive Voices News‘ Facebook page:

Irregularities in international adoptions must be investigated

LETTER TO THE EDITOR 14.11.2021

Swedish Yle reported (29.10) that serious errors in adoptions are examined in Sweden, and that irregularities can also occur in Finland. Patrik Lundberg, one of the journalists behind Dagens Nyheter’s series of articles on Swedish international adoption activities, says that if it is a question of the same adoption countries, there is also great reason for Finland to review its adoptions. This is because the same orphanage has adopted children to several different countries in the western world, and because the same lawyers and corrupt people have been involved. According to Lundberg, control has been particularly poor in countries classified as dictatorships.

With reference to other countries’ investigations of international adoptions, and given that Finland has in many cases used the same adoption contacts as, for example, Sweden, we demand that Finland also appoint its own independent inquiry.

The issue of adoptions that have not gone right is not only limited to Sweden, whose government recently presented directives for an inquiry expected to be completed in the autumn of 2023, or the Netherlands, whose government earlier this year stopped all international adoptions after a comprehensive inquiry showed that children have been stolen or purchased from their biological parents.

We, who signed this submission, demand that the state of Finland investigate the international adoptions that have taken place to date, from all countries of origin from which Finland has adopted children. This also includes adoptions that took place after the Hague Convention was ratified. The inquiry shall be independent and autonomous and no members of the inquiry group may have any connection to the adoption mediation adoption organizations.The inquiry should engage experts and research competencies in the field, such as lawyers, historians and researchers, so that the international adoption activities in Finland can be fully examined. The investigation must be given sufficient resources, both personnel, financially and in terms of time. In addition to adoptions mediated by adoption organizations, the inquiry must also examine independent adoptions (private adoptions) and the role of the Finnish state in international adoption mediation in Finland.

The inquiry shall contain proposals for measures on how to ensure that today’s adoptions take place legally and ethically. The adoption agency must be quality assured and followed up in a comprehensive way. The inquiry must ensure that corruption does not occur in connection with adoptions today.

Finally, the State of Finland should provide sufficient resources to develop and disseminate knowledge about post-adoption services for adoptees. Adoptees must have low-threshold access to free or subsidized therapy services or other necessary psychiatric care for the treatment of adoption-related trauma. Adopted persons should also be able to apply for financial support for, for example, return journeys, in the same way as adoption applicants can apply for adoption allowance for the adoption of a child.

Signed: Muluken Cederborg, adopted from Ethiopia, Sabina Söderlund-Myllyharju, adopted from Taiwan, Patrik Sigmundt, adopted from Austria, Oscar Lehtinen, adopted from Colombia, Maria Kallio, adopted from China, Mirjam Gullstén-Borg, adopted from South Korea (via Sweden), Kati Ekstrand, adopted from Taiwan, Anu-Rohima Mylläri, adopted from Bangladesh, Kerttu Yuan, adopted from China, Conny Wiik, adopted from Taiwan, Khalid Wikström, adopted from Bangladesh, Ada-Emilia Koskinen, adopted from China, Jasmin Lindholm, adopted from China, Jennifer Lönngren, adopted from China, Anton Sundén, adopted from Thailand, Yuli Andrea Paz, adopted from Colombia, Pooja Sandell, adopted from India, Naa Sippola, adopted from Thailand, Janica Palonen, adopted from Taiwan, Mei Monto, adopted from China, Iida Kuukka, adopted from China, Mimosa Torittu, adopted from China, Saba Holm, adopted from Ethiopia, Belinda Söderlund, adopted from Taiwan, Chris Gullmans, adopted from Hong Kong, Oscar Härkönen, adopted from Colombia.

Article from Hufvudstadsbladet, a Swedish-language newspaper in Finland, about adoptees calling for investigation of irregularities in their adoptions.

The original article in Swedish is here.

Lost Daughters Flip the Script: NAAM

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This is for day 24 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees, posted on day 27.

Lost Daughters is an adoptee-founded, adoptee-led, adoptee-centric amazing resource. It was founded by Amanda Woolston, MSS, LCSW, a U.S. adoptee, author, and therapist.

From The Lost Daughters page:

“Lost Daughters is an independent collaborative writing project founded in 2011.  It is edited and authored exclusively by adult women who were adopted as children.  Our name was chosen in the spirit of BJ Lifton’s concept of one’s Self becoming “lost” and “found” throughout the journey of being adopted.

Our authors come from a variety of walks of life, world views, religions, political stances, types of adoption, countries of origin, and countries of residence.  Our ages span from early 20’s to late 60’s.  Although we cannot possibly cover every experience and perspective of adoptees on our blog, we try our best to provide insight on what it is like to live adoption from the adoptee perspective. The only position we take on adoption is that adoptee voices make it better.”

The mission of Lost Daughters is to “provide an adoptee-centric space that brings readers the perspectives and narratives of adopted women, and to highlight their strength, resiliency, and wisdom. We aim to critically discuss the positives and negatives of the institution of adoption from a place of empowerment and peace. We aim to bring change to the culture of adoption that undervalues the adoptee voice by lifting our voices as women who have adoption as an intersecting variable across many aspects of life and identity, and empowering other adopted women in the process.”

In 2014, one of the Lost Daughters, Korean adoptee Rosalita Gonzalez, proposed a #flipthescript movement in response to National Adoption Month.

“#flipthescript began as a Twitter hashtag movement headed by Rosita González at Lost Daughters that began in the beginning of November 2014 for National Adoption Month. The movement’s phrase “flip the script” originated with Amanda Transue-Woolston in a video trailer for a book called Dear Wonderful You: Letters to Adopted and Fostered Youth. The context of the statement reflected on how adoption books have traditionally been written by adoptive parents. When adoptees write books for others adoptees, they get additional perspectives more like their own.

#flipthescript sought to address social media’s inundation with messages about adoption in which adoption professionals and adoptive parents are overwhelmingly represented during the month of November, National Adoption Month. Whenever education is taking place about an issue or community, all voices of that community must be included. The world needs to hear adoptee voices included in the dialogue about adoption.”

Among the tangible results of the #flipthescript hashtag was the creation of a powerful video, featuring the voices of eight women adopted as children domestically and internationally. Bryan Tucker was the videographer.

The truths these women expressed so eloquently resonate today. The video and all the writing and resources on the Lost Daughters page are profound.

Thanks and Trauma: NAAM

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This is for day 23 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees, posted on day 24.

Holidays evoke a lot of emotions, and sometimes our bodies remember things our brains don’t (for whatever reasons). As an adoptive parent, I saw a range of emotions in my children on days like Thanksgiving, birthdays, Mother’s Day. There’s such a thing as a trauma-versary, an annual or seasonal recollection of a trauma that may be felt subconsciously, and that may manifest as unease, anger, or sadness, on what is supposed to be (to others) a happy day.

So maybe young adoptees will experience this tomorrow. Maybe older adoptees will struggle with the whole complicated notion of gratitude in adoption. Some adoptees and their adoptive parents are estranged, and that can be painful. Some may have searched and reunited with birth/first family, and the outcome is confusion or even rejection. Maybe birth/first parents will be reminded of the grief and loss they have endured.

Trauma is a part of adoption, or more precisely of relinquishment. The separation of mother and child is recognized as traumatic, even as a child may be loved by others. Some adoptees experience trauma-versary during the month they were relinquished, and may or may not know why they feel disquieted.

Anyway—I am not an expert on this, though I have some experience with it. Thanksgiving and other holidays can be difficult, even as there is so much pressure to be a Hallmark card. I wish for all adoptees to find peace and space for healing with their families.

Resources: The book “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the healing of Trauma” by Bessel Van Der Kolk may be helpful, along with “My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies” by Resmaa Menakem may be helpful.

Newport Beach, OR © Maureen McCauley

Plan A Magazine: NAAM

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This is for day 22 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees, posted on day 23.

Plan A magazine is not specifically adoptee-centric. It is though an online magazine found by several Asian American women and men, “a group of Asian diaspora navigating shifting political and social climates, attempting to make sense of the conflicting roles we are thrust into and the conflicting narratives that are told about us.” That description, I think, could apply to adoptees as well. And indeed, Plan A includes Asian adoptees within the diaspora, and within its writers and podcasters.

International adoptees are all immigrants, and they are also members of a diaspora, the dispersion of a people from their original homeland. I would guess that some adoptees feel part of that diaspora, and some do not. Some are accepted as part of the diaspora by their diasporic community; some are not.

Plan A magazine welcomes them, and has a section of both essays and podcasts related to Adoption. A sample of titles: “Imperial Reproduction,” “The Manufactured Crisis: Adopted Without Citizenship,” and “Adoptee Mental Health.” The podcasts, and the rest of the magazine, address a range of issues: tech, humor, racism, sexism, gender, media. There is a Culture section on Fashion, Food, Travel, and Dating.

There may be other diaspora movements that seek to include adoptees. I know of Adopted and Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora, an adoptee-founded and adoptee-led Facebook group. There may well be others. Plan A magazine is different in that it is an umbrella for all Asian diaspora members, inclusive of adoptees.

“By presenting perspectives that are not being discussed at large, we hope to provide new ways to interpret and understand current events through the lens of the Asian Diaspora. What is not being said can be as important as what is being focused on; often it can be more important. Talk to us, we talk back.” Asian adoptees, wherever you are in the world: take a look at the Submissions info. They pay! And everyone can help in keeping writers paid and the magazine going via Patreon.

We need to hear adoptee voices, during NAAM and all the time.

Dear Adoption,: NAAM

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This is for day 21 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees, and posted on day 22.

The mission of “Dear Adoption,” is for adoptees to “reclaim the adoption narrative by amplifying adoptee voices, so a more honest depiction of what adoption is will emerge.” It was founded and is curated by Reshma McClintock, an adopted person from India who was the subject of the excellent documentary “Calcutta Is My Mother.”

Adoptees are welcome to submit an essay to the site: hundreds have, and their voices are impressive. The writers are international, transracial, domestic, same race, former foster care youth, a wide range. The essays are long, short, poignant, angry, thoughtful, sad, insightful, and more.

There is also an extensive list of adoptee-led, adoptee-centric blogs and websites, as well as podcasts and other resources.

It’s the letters to Dear Adoption, though, that I’d say are especially powerful. You can read them on the Facebook page or on the website. “Dear Adoption,” just celebrated its fifth year of elevating “the astounding, noteworthy work of adoptees worldwide,” and of creating “a better, safe world for future generations of adopted people…through the sharing of our stories.”

That phrasing always makes me think of the Maya Angelou quote, “There is no greater story than bearing an untold story inside you.” And I hope many more adoptees will continue to share their sacred stories.