Lost Daughters Flip the Script: NAAM

This is for day 24 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees, posted on day 27.

Lost Daughters is an adoptee-founded, adoptee-led, adoptee-centric amazing resource. It was founded by Amanda Woolston, MSS, LCSW, a U.S. adoptee, author, and therapist.

From The Lost Daughters page:

“Lost Daughters is an independent collaborative writing project founded in 2011.  It is edited and authored exclusively by adult women who were adopted as children.  Our name was chosen in the spirit of BJ Lifton’s concept of one’s Self becoming “lost” and “found” throughout the journey of being adopted.

Our authors come from a variety of walks of life, world views, religions, political stances, types of adoption, countries of origin, and countries of residence.  Our ages span from early 20’s to late 60’s.  Although we cannot possibly cover every experience and perspective of adoptees on our blog, we try our best to provide insight on what it is like to live adoption from the adoptee perspective. The only position we take on adoption is that adoptee voices make it better.”

The mission of Lost Daughters is to “provide an adoptee-centric space that brings readers the perspectives and narratives of adopted women, and to highlight their strength, resiliency, and wisdom. We aim to critically discuss the positives and negatives of the institution of adoption from a place of empowerment and peace. We aim to bring change to the culture of adoption that undervalues the adoptee voice by lifting our voices as women who have adoption as an intersecting variable across many aspects of life and identity, and empowering other adopted women in the process.”

In 2014, one of the Lost Daughters, Korean adoptee Rosalita Gonzalez, proposed a #flipthescript movement in response to National Adoption Month.

#flipthescript began as a Twitter hashtag movement headed by Rosita González at Lost Daughters that began in the beginning of November 2014 for National Adoption Month. The movement’s phrase “flip the script” originated with Amanda Transue-Woolston in a video trailer for a book called Dear Wonderful You: Letters to Adopted and Fostered YouthThe context of the statement reflected on how adoption books have traditionally been written by adoptive parents. When adoptees write books for others adoptees, they get additional perspectives more like their own.

#flipthescript sought to address social media’s inundation with messages about adoption in which adoption professionals and adoptive parents are overwhelmingly represented during the month of November, National Adoption Month. Whenever education is taking place about an issue or community, all voices of that community must be included. The world needs to hear adoptee voices included in the dialogue about adoption.”

Among the tangible results of the #flipthescript hashtag was the creation of a powerful video, featuring the voices of eight women adopted as children domestically and internationally. Bryan Tucker was the videographer.

The truths these women expressed so eloquently resonate today. The video and all the writing and resources on the Lost Daughters page are profound.

“What Do You See?” Music Video: Family, Struggle, Resilience, Awe

“What Do You See?” is a lovely song by the talented musician-singers Mr and Mrs. Something.

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Today, they released the song, as well as a music video that has a story line about family, parenting, struggles, and resilience. When you watch the video, you will see and hear Mr. and Mrs. Something, and you will see my daughter, my granddaughter, and me. The video is available here.

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Bryan Tucker and Brian Lee, filming Mr. and Mrs. Something, August 2015.

The director of the video is Bryan Tucker, who directed and produced the prize-winning documentary Closure (the story of Angela Tucker‘s search and reunion), among other works. Bryan came up with the story line concept, a merging of the lyrics and a story of a family, and approached us about being in the video.  It was a brand new experience for us, and was a lot of fun. I have a whole new appreciation for the art of making top-notch videos–so much time and so many details.

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Bryan Tucker and Brian Lee, filming the video for “What Do You See?” August 2015

The lyrics and the music are strong and challenging:

What do you see…the dream that has died, or the hopes yet to be?

Someone who’s loved and lost, or someone who’s learned patiently?

The song and the video are about everyone: the struggles, the failings, the fallings, the willingness to get back up. They are about mothers and daughters, parenting, interracial families, raising children, loving each other, being angry or hurt, laughing, cheering each other on, hanging in, showing up.

We’ve heard today from dear friends who saw the video and know us (including in our unpleasant, imperfect, not in the video moments), and from strangers who saw themselves in the lyrics or story: adoptees, Ethiopians, single moms, women of color, grandmothers, dancers, aspiring ballerinas, adoptive parents, step parents, mothers, daughters, fathers, sons.

Wherever we are, we can choose to see the best in each other and ourselves, even in the midst of all our imperfections.

‘Cuz I see a will to rise again from every fall.

I see a soul that’s filled with awe at the wonder of it all.

What do you see? 

You can (and should!) download the song for free, for the next 2 weeks. Mr and Mrs. Something’s album Setting Sail will be released on November 17, 2015. We are honored to have been a part of it.