Tag Archives: adoptive parents

What Should Adoptive Parents Do About Adoptees’ Often Absent Medical Histories?

Posted on by
Reply

“International adoption leads to family health mysteries.” That’s the title of an important article which I believe we adoptive parents need to ponder and act on. I’d argue that adoption generally can lead to medical mysteries, since often there is little or no medical history provided to the adopted person.

As an adoptive parent, I filled out forms at the pediatricians’ office for my children when they were little. I’d include whatever info I had for each child, and then put N/A on many items. In truth, it didn’t seem like a big deal to me at the time.

I’ve learned so much over the years. It’s a very big deal.

Now that my children are adults, now that two are parents themselves, I see how much uncertainty, frustration, suffering, and hardship emerge from not knowing one’s medical history.

I didn’t know some 35 years ago that I could have and should have advocated doggedly for the information. While I can’t change the past, I can speak out about ways to do better now.

I hope that any prospective and new adoptive parents will do so. Get all the medical information—physical and mental—that you can about the child’s family (parents, grandparents, cousins, siblings, everyone).

Make sure your child’s doctor knows about (and uses) the Comprehensive Health Evaluation of the Newly Adopted Child, from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Tell your pediatrician that you know her job is harder because there is not a complete medical history. Ask that she talk with her colleagues about not being complacent and accepting of this ethical inequity.

For adoptive parents whose children are still minors, check with your agency (or even better, the birth family) as to any new medical developments over time, including years after placement.

What can those of us with adult adopted children do?

  • Apologize for not having been a better advocate when they were little.
  • Become educated about direct-to-consumer genetic testing, such as AncestryDNA and 23AndMe. I gave my children DNA testing kits several years ago. I’ve learned lots since then.

The kits can be helpful. They can help locate relatives, sometimes. They can provide some medical information.

They have limitations and constraints. They can open unexpected doors, and evoke unexpected reactions and emotions. They can place private information into huge corporate databases. They can provide information used by law enforcement entities. (Police Are Getting DNA Data From People Who Think They Opted Out; Racial Disparities in Databanking of DNA Profiles; Your DNA Test Could Send a Relative to Jail.)

  • So: do your reading and knowledge-gathering about DNA testing. Be available and supportive to your adult adopted son or daughter, as objectively and lovingly as possible without interfering or judging.

Per the article: Share goals with your doctor. Do all routine screenings. Follow up with a genetic counselor and genetic testing at a hospital or clinic.

  • Help your children pay for these expensive tests and counseling, if your child is open to that.

Many of these genetic tests and the attendant counseling costs are not covered by insurance. That means that, as happens too often, many adopted people are unable to access what is a basic human and civil right: their own medical information.

Consider this an opportunity if not obligation to provide financial assistance so that your adult children can have that information.

Here are some additional articles to consider:

What It’s Like to Fill in the Gaps in Your Health History When You’re Adopted

When Adoptees Uncover Their Medical History

Learning Your Family Medical History as an Adoptee

The Harsh Reality of Living Without Any Medical History

Genetic Testing in Adoption

Family Health Histories: Invaluable for Adoptees’ Medical Care and Self-Identity

Update on Noah Bevin, Ethiopian Adoptee, and the “Troubled Teen” Industry

Posted on by
Reply

The Lexington Herald reported yesterday afternoon that “Noah” Bevin, the Ethiopian adopted son of Kentucky ex-governor Matt Bevin, has been in the U.S. since May, in a “new placement outside of Kentucky.” Noah (a pseudonym since he is a minor, 17 years old) had been named a ward of Jamaica when his adoptive parents failed to show up at a court hearing after the Jamaican school where Noah had been placed was raided and closed down due to allegations of abuse.

More information about the Atlantis Leadership Academy in Jamaica and about Noah’s situation is available from this Sunday Times article, from this Kentucky Lantern article, and from my August 5 post, “What Has Happened to the Ethiopian Son Adopted by Former Kentucky Governor Bevin?”

There are still many questions remaining. The former governor and his wife have not yet commented, according to several news articles.

Many people in the adoption community have expressed great concern for Noah, and for the over-represented adoptees in placement settings. Pamela Karanova, a Kentucky adoptee, has created a Facebook page titled “Adoptee Survivors of the Troubled Teen Industry.” The focus of the page is to speak out for Noah, and for adoptees to share stories and shed light on the experiences of adoptees in residential settings. Karanova is very active in the adoptee community via Adoptees Connect; Grieve, Grow, Glo Grief Recovery Adoptee Workshops; Adoptee Remembrance Day, and more.

I hope Noah is genuinely safe, and that he finds the resources he needs for healing.

What Has Happened to the Ethiopian Son Adopted by Former Kentucky Governor Bevin?

Posted on by
1

A headline from yesterday’s Kentucky Lantern:

“Former KY Gov. Matt Bevin’s adopted son reportedly removed from abusive facility in Jamaica.”

The article names “Matt Bevin, a conservative Christian and Republican who served as governor (of Kentucky) from 2015 through 2019” as the adoptive parent of “Noah” (a pseudonym). Noah was adopted from Ethiopia in 2012 by the former governor and his wife; they adopted 3 other Ethiopian children at that time. They also have five biological children.

News reports have said that Noah, now 17 years old, was placed in a Florida facility in 2019. In 2023, Noah was placed at the Atlantis Leadership Academy, a Jamaican treatment facility for teenage boys, several of whom were adoptees.

The Lantern article refers to Noah: “…now, one of those adopted children, a 17-year-old boy, is at the center of international attention after he and seven other boys were removed from the Atlantis Leadership Academy in Jamaica in February, where authorities found horrific conditions,” according to a lengthy article published July 13 in the Sunday Times of London.

The Sunday Times story, ” ‘I’d Rather Die Than Go Back:’ Jamaica’s school for troubled US boys,” says that Noah was among “three teens who were made wards of the Jamaican state…It’s not clear where the Bevins’ son is now.”

A Kentucky news station posted this article today: Report claims former Gov. Matt Bevin abandoned adopted son.

Screenshot

Noah’s story is one example of the complexity of the so-called “Troubled Teen Industry” (TTI), which has garnered a tremendous amount of publicity in recent years.

Paris Hilton was in the news in April regarding the Atlantis facility and her concern for the boys in Jamaica. In June, Hilton testified about her own experiences at similar facilities. Netflix is featuring a documentary called The Program: Cons, Cults, and Kidnapping.

Adoptees are disproportionately represented at some of these facilities, and that could be for a variety of reasons. I do not want to pathologize adoptees, nor do I want to minimize the need for specialized services by counselors and therapists with appropriate training in adoption.

Here is an excerpt from an article by the American Counseling Association, Adoption Complexities:

“Counselors who treat transracial and transnational adoptees and study the practice of adoption say it warrants scrutiny. People who are unfamiliar with these types of adoption may view them as an act of altruism to “rescue” a child from unfortunate circumstances, says Amanda Baden, PhD, a professor of counselor education at Montclair State University in New Jersey.  

“But if you ask the adoptee community, they would say there are a lot of abuses in transracial and transnational adoption and there needs to be much more careful and ethical oversight of the practice,” says Baden, a transracial and transnational adoptee from Hong Kong who works with transracial and transnational adoptees in her private practice in New York City.”

I hope that Noah is found to be safe, and that all adoptees and teens in therapeutic centers find the help that they deserve.

Additional Articles about the TTI in the U.S., including Adoptee Treatment

The Troubled Teen Industry and Its Effects: An Oral History

Five Facts About the Troubled Teen Industry (American Bar Association)

Troubled Teen Industry Statistics Revealed: Alarming Facts and Figures

Differences Between Adopted and Nonadopted Adolescents in Wilderness and Residential Treatment From the Abstract: “Adopted children are disproportionately represented in residential treatment programs in the United States. Adopted children in the United States constitute only 2% to 3% of the U.S population. Nevertheless, they comprise approximately 16.5% of the population in residential care. This descriptive study evaluated a sample of 473 psychological evaluations of adolescents in wilderness and residential treatment centers. Results indicated that, compared with nonadopted youth, adopted youth had greater histories of recent trauma, higher rates of suicidal tendency and biological parents’ mental illness, and poorer academic achievement. However, there were no significant differences between adopted and nonadopted youths in terms of defiant behaviors, IQ, substance use/abuse, reasons for referral, impulsivity, anxiety, or depression. Study results suggest that wilderness and residential programs may need to target programmatic elements specifically to meet the special needs of adopted adolescents who comprise a significant percentage of their client population.”

Adopted Youth in Residential Care: Prevalence Rate and Professional Training Needs





President of Guatemala Apologizes To Adoptees for Fraudulent Adoptions

Posted on by
2

President of Guatemala Bernardo Arevalo recently apologized to adoptees who were trafficked as children from Guatemala to the United States.

” ‘On behalf of the state…I apologize publicly for the events of which you were victims,’ President Bernardo Arevalo said at an event in Guatemala City.

The state’s role in the incident “has no justification,” he added.”

Per France 24: “Before Guatemala moved to end the practice in 2007, about 5,000 children were put up for adoption each year, mostly by American couples who paid about $50,000, according to human rights groups.

In total, the adoptions were estimated to generate around $250 million a year.”

This is a highly significant event in the inter country adoption world—an acknowledgment of fraud and coercion that likely affected thousands of adoptions.

From “Guatemalan Government Apologizes to Victims of Illegal Adoptions”:

On July 12, the president made a public apology  to the parents of two children illegally adopted by a family in the United States in 1997. This is the first time that the Guatemalan government has made a public apology for illegal adoptions carried out in the country between 1977 and 2008.

The public apology was in response to the case of Osmín Tobar Ramírez, who was seven years old in 1997 when he and his younger brother, Jeffrey Arias Ramírez, who was nearly two years old, were taken from their family by the Guatemalan state and housed in the Asociación Los Niños de Guatemala orphanage. They were put up for adoption, an act that would later be revealed to be illegal.

Other governments have apologized for forced and/or illicit adoptions. Australia, Wales, Scotland, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, The Netherlands, Denmark, France, and Belgium are among those listed in EuroNews and Movement for An Adoption Apology.

Guatemala was a so-called “sending” country, sending children to other countries for the purpose of adoption. Another “sending” country, South Korea, has been working with adoptees via its Truth and Reconciliation Commission to investigate fraud over decades of inter country adoption.

International adoption has declined severely for many reasons, including fraud, coercion, and corruption. Vulnerable children still need help, and families still need resources to stay together. Here are some ideas: Lamenting the Decline in International Adoptions? Take Action.

Also: Listen to the voices of adult adoptees, including the ones who are provocative and challenging.

Here is some additional information about Guatemalan adoptions:

Guatemala’s baby brokers: how thousands of children were stolen for adoption

A Painful Truth: Guatemalan Adoptees Learn They Were Fraudulently Given Away

Finally, I want to acknowledge my work with the Joint Council on International Children’s Services some 30 years ago. I apologize for any harm I caused, through my naiveté or otherwise. I’ve learned so much over the last several decades about the commodification and trafficking of children, the notion of intent v. impact, and the unquestionable need to dismantle the adoption industry so that the practices can be genuinely helpful and transparent to vulnerable children and families.

Who Decides What “Adoption Competent” Means?

Posted on by
Reply

A general consensus these days is that adoptees are the experts in adoption, that their lived experience is a (if not the) most valid and valuable construct for understanding adoption. I agree. I may have my own insights and perspectives as an adoptive parent, but only adopted people know the depth and breadth of the reality of being adopted.

What, then, does it mean to be “adoption competent”?

It is a term mostly applied to therapy and therapists.

According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway of the U.S. government, “Children and youth who are adopted often have experienced trauma and need help sorting through complicated feelings stemming from their adoption and past experiences. Rather than being a one-time event, adoption is an ongoing process that requires continuous support long after papers are signed. To provide that support, child welfare professionals and other service providers should have adoption competence—the specific knowledge, skills, and values required to meet the complex, unique needs of adopted children and youth and their families.” (I added the emphasis.)

The notion of therapists and others to be “adoption competent” has been around for a while, including via the National Child Welfare Resource Center for Adoption (NCWRCA)’s Guide to Developing an Adoption Certificate Program for Mental Health Practitioners, published in 2007.

In 2013, the Donaldson Adoption Institute funded a policy paper, “A Need to Know: Enhancing Adoption Competence Among Adoption Professionals.”

Fast forward to the relative present time. The program that shows up most in a search for “adoption competence” is from the Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.): “The Training for Adoption Competency (TAC) Curriculum is the nation’s premiere assessment-based certificate program for training mental health practitioners and developing adoption competency skills…TAC has 19 training centers across the country, over 1,800 graduates (and growing) and received accreditation from the Institute of Credentialing Excellence (ICE), making it a recognized top-tier program dedicated to public protection and excellence in practice.”

It was offered for free to practitioners in Washington state in 2022-2023, where I live, as part of the Coordinated Care health insurance program. Costs currently seem to vary nationally from $900 to $3500, according to my brief search for the numbers.

I’d like to suggest that the TAC program be offered free to adult adoptees who are eligible as therapists, and would otherwise be charged for the program. That would be a powerful acknowledgment to the value of adoptee voices, a gesture of not charging them nor requesting free labor from them.

While there is a charge for TAC, C.A.S.E. also offers three NTI courses for free, as part, I’d guess of the $9 million grant they were awarded. “NTI was developed by the Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.) and funded through a $9 million cooperative agreement with the Children’s Bureau (Administration on Children and Families, US Dept of Health and Human Services) with the goal of providing free access to NTI in all U.S. states, tribes and territories.”

The three courses are geared toward child welfare workers (case workers), child welfare supervisors, and mental health professionals.

I recently completed the National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training for Child Welfare Professionals. As an adoptive parent, as someone who worked in adoption professionally, as a consultant now for Adoption Mosaic, I was curious about the course. It took me well over 20 hours lol. I will share my thoughts on the course, as well as on “adoption competent therapists,” in a separate blog post.

I would urge others to take the course, as a way of seeing what current thinking appears to be around adoption competency.

It is an evolving concept at best. And I wish my adoption agency social workers and I had some of this information when I adopted my children some 35+ years ago. We keep learning.

Full disclosure: I worked with C.A.S.E. some 25 years ago, including helping with the writing of the W.I.S.E. Up! book and of a foster care-related grant, the exact name of which I cannot recall now. This post is not meant as an advertisement or endorsement or criticism of the TAC program or C.A.S.E. courses. Indeed, there are mixed reviews from a number of practitioners, inevitable when thousands of folks have undergone the training. That said, TAC from C.A.S.E., for whatever combination of reasons, is what shows up in volume on Internet searches.

U.S. Certificate of Citizenship is Now Free for Intercountry Adoptees

Posted on by
Reply

For international adoptees who acquired citizenship before they turned 18 but have not yet acquired the Certificate of Citizenship, the cost is now Zero. It’s usually about $1200, so this is a significant savings!

The Certificate of Citizenship (CoC) is the permanent proof of citizenship. Passports (from the U.S. State Department) prove citizenship and are used for international travel, but they can expire. The CoC never expires, and is a gold standard for proof of citizenship. The CoC is issued by the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, USCIS, an agency of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

Here’s the link to the Form N-600, Certificate of Citizenship, via USCIS. The N-600 is the form that adoptees should use to get their CoC.

Here is a link to the USCIS fee schedule, showing the N-600 cost as 0.

For adult adoptees over 18, here’s a link to a helpful USCIS page: Adult Adoptees and US Citizenship.

The legal documents are crucial in all this. This can be a difficult challenge for some adoptees who do not have access to their documents (the adoptive parents refuse to give them to the adoptee or have lost them, for example.)

That said, adoptees who are over 18 and unsure of their citizenship status can file a Freedom of Information Act request with USCIS for all their records, to determine their status, via Form G-639.

Here’s some other great news: Adoptees United will be launching a legal clinic in July to help folks with requesting records and obtaining a CoC. More details will be available in the coming months. Costs will be minimal. Bravo, Adoptees United!

Why bother with getting the Certificate of Citizenship?

As mentioned above, it’s the gold standard for proof of citizenship.

Beyond that, as years go by and government policies change, the CoC may be even more necessary for those who were not born in the U.S. and who immigrated here, as is the case for international adoptees.

Currently, different states have different approaches to citizenship verification. Some require a CoC for drivers’ licenses at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Security clearances may require a CoC, as do some military roles. Some states may require a CoC for voter registration, particularly online. (Non-citizens are not allowed to vote.)

All these state and federal policies could change in the future, and could affect international adoptee as much as other immigrants.

Adoptive parents who don’t feel the need to get their minor child’s CoC may want to think about when their children are adults, when the parents are no longer alive, and when citizenship verification may change. Noncitizens, or those who cannot prove their citizenship, may have trouble accessing Medicare, for example. That is true now. Access to other government benefits could also depend on proof of citizenship.

And of course noncitizens, including international adoptees who cannot prove citizenship, can be deported. Until the U.S. government decides that all international adoptees should have automatic citizenship, the solid proof is the Certificate of Citizenship.

A Course for Estranged Adoptive Parents

Posted on by
Reply

We may not like to think about it or talk about, but estrangement happens a lot in families, including adoptive families.

I am honored to be co-facilitating a new Adoption Mosaic course starting in May, called “Navigating Estrangement: Helping Adoptive Parents With Healing.” This is for parents whose adopted children are over 18 years old. My partner in leading this is Becca Flatt, MSW, LCSW, an adoptee/adoptive parent and therapist. We’ve been working on the curriculum and it is powerful. This will not be therapy; it is consultation and community-building, providing resources and strategies.

At least one estimate suggests that one quarter of adults are estranged from their parents. I haven’t seen any statistics specific to estrangement in adoption; I am aware of many such situations anecdotally.

When children become adults, sometimes estrangement can be temporary and almost unnoticeable. The kids move out, they get busy with work, they have partners/spouses and children. And sometimes things smooth over.

Sometimes estrangement is loud, painful, and shameful: too often folks do not know where to seek help, and feel embarrassed or isolated. Finding a community can make a world of difference. Things can smooth over after this sort of estrangement too, though healing and reconciliation can be far more complicated.

The idea for this class evolved from our work in Adoption Mosaic’s Seasoned Parents course, geared to adoptive parents whose children are over 18 (and often are much older). The parents want to learn to better communicate with their adult children about adoption, including issues such as race, the adoption industry, the role of gratitude, the complexity of parenting. I have co-facilitated the class three times. We talk about why we chose adoption, about how adoption has changed over time, about the role of race in our children’s lives and our own, and about the fact that issues in adoption don’t end when a child turns 18.

In fact, sometimes the issues manifest in different ways as our children get older. We have had adoptees ask (or insist that) their parents to take the Seasoned Parents class; some adoptees might do the same for the Estrangement class.

Adoption Mosaic, while having classes for adoptive parents, is at its heart adoptee-centric. Starting soon there will be an Adoption Mosaic adoptee-only support group for any adoptee dealing with estrangement. It will be led by two adoptees, both of whom who have professional and lived experience. More info will be available soon on the Adoption Mosaic website. Be sure also to check out the “We The Experts Series,” which features a panel of adoptees and is offered every month, as well as the adoptee socials and other events.

Many in the adoption community are noting the growing movement for reform in adoption, in both practice and policy. We are hearing from and (I hope) listening carefully to the many adult adoptees speaking out. The reforms, the voices, and the demands for change are important. We adoptive parents can grow and learn as well, in ways that we hope will strengthen our children and families.

The Adoptee Consciousness Model: A Tremendous Resource for the Community

Posted on by
2

Please read and share the “Adoptee Consciousness Model.” It is a vital and meaningful model showing how adoptees might process the complexity of adoption in their lives.

The researchers suggest that adoptee consciousness may rotate through various points: Status Quo, Rupture, Dissonance, Expansiveness, and Forgiveness & Activism.

The circle graphic is intentional. This is not a linear process. And there is no “final stage” or specifically desired outcome, Dr. Kim writes. Adoptees may go from one point to another, in a manner that works for them, as they build consciousness around their awakening, and around their connection with their community.

The authors, Dr. JaeRan Kim, Dr. Susan Branco, Dr. Stephanie Kripa Cooper-Lewter, Paula O’Loughlin. and Grace Newton, are all adoptees.

From Dr. Kim: “Critical consciousness models offer ways to think about the processes marginalized groups develop awareness about oppressive systems and structures, both as individual and importantly collective, in order to engage in activism for social justice.”

Critical consciousness is vital for all of us in the adoption community. I co-facilitate an Adoption Mosaic class, “Seasoned Parents,” geared to adoptive parents whose children are now adults. Some of the parents are estranged from their children. We shared the Adoptee Consciousness Model, and all of us found it helpful and insightful.

The academic paper, as published in The International Body Psychotherapy Journal, is available here.

If you’re interested in podcasts, JaeRan Kim spoke about the Adoptee Consciousness Model with Haley Radke via this AdopteesOn podcast. Susan Branco is featured on this episode of Adoptees Dish, speaking about the model.

On March 1, you can listen to JaeRan Kim and Grace Newton talk about the model on this Adapted podcast.

On March 11, you can attend the Monday Evening Speaker Series of Adoption Network Cleveland that will feature Korean adoptee (and podcaster, storyteller, advocate) Patrick Armstrong speaking about the Adoptee Consciousness Model.

On June 6, Encompass Adoptees will host Adoption Mosaic CEO (and Colombian adoptee) Astrid Castro speaking on “The Intersection of History, Adoption, and Mental Health,” as part of their Adoption Issues Online Speaker Series. A focus will be the Adoptee Consciousness Model.

Clearly the model is getting a great deal of much deserved traction. Please share it in your own community, with adoptees, adoptive families, therapists, counselors.

Why You Should Read and Share “Lions Roaring Far From Home”

Posted on by
2

Yesterday was Adoptee Remembrance Day, and tomorrow is the start of National Adoption Awareness Month in the US. It is a fitting time to learn more about adoption, or better understand the experience of being adopted, or hear a variety of perspectives on what “being adopted” means.

Here is an amazing collection of essays by adoptees, stories told in their own voices: Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees.

The book includes essays and poems by 32 writers, ranging in age from 8 to over 50, and raised in six different countries (Canada, France, Sweden, Australia, the Netherlands, and the U.S.). The perspectives on adoption vary, and that is one of the strengths of the book.

It is the first (and currently only) anthology by Ethiopian adoptees.

It received advance praise from Lemn Sissay, Nicole Chung, and Shannon Gibney, all acclaimed writers who are also adoptees.

The cover of the book "Lions Roaring" is a painting of an Ethiopian woman with one hand on her hip and the other on the back of a roaring lion.

The stunning cover art is by the incredibly talented Ethiopian artist Nahosenay Negussie.

We are grateful to the folks who have read the book, and those who have shared a review and stars on the Amazon site.

We hope more folks will read it, talk about it, and share it with others.

It is a groundbreaking book, reflecting the hearts of our writers and the realities of adoption.

Please help us get the book into the hands of Ethiopian adoptees, other adoptees, Ethiopians, adoptive parents, adoption agencies, adoption therapists, and others.

Thank you.

Adoptees Estranged from Their Adoptive Families

Posted on by
Reply

Among adoption’s more complicated realities is the role of estrangement: adoptees who become estranged from their adoptive parents.

On Saturday, October 14, (10-noon pacific/1pm-3pm eastern) Adoption Mosaic will host its 50th “We the Experts” panel (the experts being adoptees) on “Adoptees and Adoptive Family Estrangement.”

From Adoption Mosaic: “Estrangement is rising in adoptive families. Historically adoptive families have not been adequately informed of the trauma of adoption, and adoptees often feel disconnected to their adoptive families.”

Some of the topics that may be discussed by the four adoptees on the panel include the following:

“When did you realize that estrangement could be an option for you and your adoptive family?

What was it like to go through this separation?

Were you able to find support, either from friends or the adoptee community?

How are you creating your own sense of community after estrangement? Does the phrase ‘chosen family’ speak to you?”

As an adoptive parent, I recognize this is a tough topic to think about, to experience, and to talk about. And of course it’s painful for everyone, especially adoptees. So let’s talk about it, listen to and learn from adoptees, and work together to heal in community (and that can look different for everyone).

Note: In transparency, please know that I am a co-facilitator for Adoption Mosaic. In fact, we start our Seasoned Parents 6 week class today for adoptive parents of adult children. In the past, we have had parents who are estranged from their children, or are close to estrangement. Sometimes it’s been the adult adoptees who ask their parents to take the class. One of the main objectives of the class is to help adoptive parents talk about hard things with their adult children, whether it’s race, trauma, addiction, grief, estrangement, commodification, or another tough subject.