While there are many reasons, race is a factor in transracial adoption because transracial adoptees have told us this, for decades.

I’ve been reluctant to publicize this New York Post article “Why is race still a factor in adoption?”. It is woefully uninformed, relies on attacks and haughty insinuations, and shows no real depth in terms of the nuances and complexity of race in adoption.

The writer, Naomi Schaefer Riley, does share the voice of an adoptee in the article. Riley vilifies Angela Tucker, a Black woman and adopted person, pouncing on Angela’s admittedly challenging Substack post, “What It Felt Like to Stop a White Couple From Adopting a Black Baby.”

I say “admittedly challenging” because Angela knew her writing would be controversial. It is nuanced and thoughtful as well, rooted not only in Angela’s personal experience as a transracial adoptee but also in her years of professional work in adoption. She is currently the executive director of the Adoptee Mentoring Society, an adoptee-centric organization guided by many members of the adoption community, including those deeply familiar with the complexity of transracial adoption and racial identity.

Angela, like many adopted adults who speak out about the role of race for transracial adoptees, is used to pushback from white adoptive parents, and indeed from white people generally. She does not oppose transracial adoption. She loves her white adoptive parents. She and I, a white adoptive parent of 4 transracially adopted Black now-adults, have known each other for years.

In part, I am suggesting here a Call to Conversation and Action because of my respect for the experiences of adoptees like my own beloved children, and of Angela, and of so many other transracially adopted adults.

This is a both/and situation, one that the New York Post article does not grasp: Adoptees can both love their adoptive family, and want to see adoption transformed (or abolished—and many folks do not understand what abolition means in the adoption community). You can be grateful for adoption (gratitude is an extremely controversial subject in adoption), and have traumatic, painful experiences due to racism. You can deeply love your adopted children, and also be aware that they were not prepared for racism and racist attacks.

You can protect your Black or Brown children in the loving bubble of your white family, and realize that the world is full of systemic and institutional racism, which might manifest as personal attacks both subtle and overt on your children.

You can want all children to have safe families, and also oppose adoption, arguing for other measures that don’t separate children from their mothers, siblings, cousins, grandparents, country, heritage, culture, language. You can acknowledge that adoption may have benefits (especially economic), and also recognize the struggles that some transracial adoptees have in terms of mental health, racial identity, sense of self, and more.

I am still processing my thoughts about the article. I welcome other voices to the conversation. The details of any Call to Action are yet to be determined, but I for one cannot let Riley’s question go unanswered.

A final note:

Research spans decades on the impact of race in adoption. Here are a few examples.

The Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition of New York has no fewer than 14 articles in its “Family Resources and Supports” section, with titles such as “Understanding the Impact of Racism on Children’s Mental Health” and “Racism and Microaggressions in Transracial Adoption.” There is a range of perspectives provided; all note that race is a compelling, forceful part of adoption.

This is from the Evan B. Donaldson Institute in 2000, following the 1999 Gathering of Korean adoptees: https://iamadoptee.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Gathering-Donaldson-survey.pdf A quote: “The majority of respondents reported that they had experienced some form of discrimination while they were growing up. Race (70%) was cited more often as the basis for discrimination than was adoption (28%).”

Another example is from the Washington Post in 2021: ‘I Know My Parents Love Me, But They Don’t Love My People: Adoptees of Color with White parents struggle to talk with their families about race.

From Pepperdine University, 2017: “Empowering Adopted Children in the Face of Racism and Discrimination.”

From the Journal of Family Psychology, 2022; The Intersection of race and adoption: Experiences of transracial and international adoptees with micro aggressions.