Tag Archives: international adoption

More Challenging Ideas for Adoptive Parents: Adoption is Trafficking; Adoption as a “Both/And”

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My post last week on 3 Challenging Ideas For Adoptive Parents was well-received–thank you to those who read it, shared it, and connected with me about it.

My perspective is as an adoptive parent. Wherever we are in the constellation, talking together in community about complex ideas is vital.

Here are more Challenging Ideas.

Adoptees can have a wonderful childhood, love their adoptive families, and hate adoption.

It’s a both/and proposition. This Psychology Today article is a good introduction to both/and thinking, if you’re not familiar with it. Here is an excerpt, not specific to adoption:

 “,,,multiple things can be true at the same time and that everybody has a right to their experience, regardless of what somebody else is experiencing…Both/and says that you can and almost certainly will feel more than one thing at a time. You can feel both grateful and resentful of the pressures of parenthood. You can feel both exhilarated by a high-powered position and overwhelmed by the sacrifices that it demands. You can feel both appreciative to stay home with your kids and trapped by its routines. You can both love your career and wish you had more time with family. You can feel both ambitious and content. 

Both/and honors the full complicated reality that life presents.”

The notion that an adoptee can hate adoption is a complicated one for adoptive parents to consider, since we were the ones who instigated and paid for the adoption; further, we (most of us) deeply love our children, and know that, if not for adoption, we would not have these children in our lives.

Adoptive parents might wonder: “We thought we were doing a good thing when we adopted, giving a child a better life. Did we do the wrong thing, engage in an unethical act?” Or “How can anyone hate adoption?” Or “Does this mean my adopted children don’t really love me?”

Both/and thinking, rather than Either/Or thinking, can help work through some of this complexity.

Elena Hall, an adopted person, wrote a children’s book titled Adoption is Both.

 Cindy Zhu Huijgen, adopted from China to the Netherlands, writes on Inter Country Adoptee Voices, “Why I am relieved that China terminated its adoption program.”

|Adoption is trafficking.

The notion of adoption as equivalent to trafficking is a tough concept, I’d argue. Still, when we consider the role of money (the amount, who’s paying, who’s pocketing), the power imbalances and ethical murkiness (if not outright corruption and fraud) that are too often part of adoption, we can understand the argument.

Adoption and child welfare services are a multi-billion dollar industry, according to IBIS World: “…industry-wide revenue is expected to climb…to $30.5 billion (emphasis added) through 2025.” There’s so much that can go wrong as a result. Poor and vulnerable people can easily be horribly victimized, lied to, deceived. While international treaties like The Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption are designed to prevent trafficking, they are certainly not without flaws, and have many critics.

It is tempting, I’d argue, as an adoptive parent to say, “Well, we went through an accredited, reputable agency. There could not have been trafficking.” And if one hews to a tight definition of trafficking, the comparison with adoption can get clouded. Even so, the large sums of money exchanged; the power structure of who is placing children (or being coerced or deceived or bribed into doing so) and who is receiving children; the oversight (or lack thereof) of all the people involved in locating babies, children, and expectant mothers; and the reports of abused adopted children treated as slaves–all of this is deeply disturbing.

The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges stated in The Disturbing Connection Between Foster Care and Domestic Child Sex Trafficking that “It has been estimated that 60% of all child sex trafficking victims have histories in the child welfare system. Youth without stable families are particularly vulnerable to being exploited by traffickers. Traffickers are targeting and recruiting youth directly from foster care, group homes, and residential placements.”

The book Finding Fernanda is a sobering read about international adoption from Guatemala. In an article titled “International Adoption or Child Trafficking?,” E.J. Graff reviews the book from a journalistic perspective: “Finding Fernanda is a true-crime page-turner about two mothers-Betsy Emanuel, an American, and Mildred Alvarado, a Guatemalan-accidentally united by a horrible adoption kidnapping. First-time author Erin Siegal uses the moving story to deliver investigative reportage at its finest, examining in tremendous detail exactly what happened to Betsy, to Mildred, and to the daughter that both of them lost.”

Graff notes that “Between 1998 and 2008, nearly 30,000 Guatemalan-born children (mostly infants and toddlers) were adopted by U.S. parents. In some years, that meant that an astonishing 1 out of 100 children born in Guatemala was adopted by an American family. For most of that time, everyone but the prospective adoptive parents knew-or in some cases actively chose to “unknow“-that the country’s international adoption system was a cesspool of corruption and crime, and motivated by money. Non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and news organizations reported in detail, repeatedly, that the country’s babies were systematically being bought, coerced, or even kidnapped away from families that wanted to raise them. But because healthy babies and toddlers kept on coming at a regular pace that kept up with demand in America, and because powerful Guatemalans were getting enormously rich off the baby trade, the system did not shut down until January 1, 2008.”

Guatemala is one country cited for trafficking; there have been many others. Here’s an article about issues in China: “Exploring variations and influencing factors of illegal adoption: A comparison between child trafficking and informal adoption.”

Against Child Trafficking “works to prevent child trafficking in intercountry adoption and to align international policies with the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.” From the ACT web page: “In 2008, (ACT) was registered as an NGO in the Netherlands. It was established at the behest of the European Commission by Roelie Post, a civil servant at the European Commission” who investigated Romanian adoptions in the 1990’s for trafficking, and faced harsh opposition from the international adoption lobby. Post “forged a valuable partnership with Arun Dohle”, an adopted person from India raised in Germany. Together, they established ACT.”

A Reddit discussion “Can y’all break down the idea that adoption is trafficking?” includes many adopted people asking and answering questions.

Final Thoughts for Today

Again, this is a superficial presentation of dramatically complicated subjects. They are, though, being frequently discussed in many social media sites. They should not be dismissed.

Estrangement is increasingly common in the adoption community, a somewhat well-kept secret, though increasingly emerging into the mainstream. Folks who shy away from the challenging ideas may be among those who are estranged. We adoptive parents need to be able to sit with these tough notions, because our children may be doing exactly that as well.

I welcome your thoughts on these issues, and will be offering more Challenging Ideas soon. Turns out there are quite a few. Take good care, everyone.

Update on Mike Davis, Deported Ethiopian Adoptee

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Mike is, of course, much more than a deported Ethiopian adoptee. He’s a very good person, husband, father, grandfather, an entrepreneur who ran a pizza place, a gas station, a convenience store, and more. He and his adoptive father, a U.S. Army Master Sergeant, both thought Mike had citizenship. Bureaucratic errors apparently won out. When Mike got in trouble with the law in 1991, he served his time, and has had no legal trouble since. Nonetheless, he was deported, alone and without money, employment, or knowledge of the language, to Ethiopia in 2005.

Mike does not complain about his life there, but it is very hard. He has learned Amharic, and he has found ways to provide food and basic shelter.

In June 2023, we started a GoFundMe for Mike. We’ve raised about $5000 since then, and that money has made an enormous difference for Mike. He’s been able to get medicines, and to see doctors for his gout and dentists for his teeth pain. The funds have helped with legal costs, including filing fees for documents and other attorney charges. He’s used the funds to get shoes and socks, as well as a water tank and water for his home.

If you have helped in any way, many thanks!

Thank you also to all the folks who have visited with him. Recently, a group of Ethiopian adoptees spent a bit of time with Mike in Addis. The young people are part of the Ethiopian Adoptees Foundation, and Mike loved visiting with them. Thank you to Mari and each of the wonderful visitors.

Thank you to the EAF visitors!

Visitors like this, plus the adoptees who visit Addis with their families, mean the world to Mike.

His efforts to return home have not yet been successful, especially in the current US political climate. You’d think a 63-year-old man who was adopted to the US as a little boy, who committed a crime over 30 years ago, who took responsibility for his transgression and served his time, and who was deported over 20 years ago: you’d think he’d be allowed to return to his wife, children, and grandchildren. That hasn’t yet happened. We keep Mike and his family in our hearts. We are deeply grateful to his lawyers. We remain hopeful and optimistic. We appreciate all the prayers and good wishes.

Over the last two years, Mike has been frugal and thoughtful about his expenses, spending small amounts on life necessities: rent and food mostly. He is always gracious and appreciative when visitors bring him socks, tee shirts, and the occasional bag of Snickers bars.

Please help us keep Mike’s spirits up. His health is fair, but being elderly and alone in Ethiopia is not easy. His legal costs have added up, and we are hopeful that there will be good news.

We have had no donations for 6 months.

If you can donate, that would be wonderful, Even small amounts make a big difference. Please share the GoFundMe with others as well, and please send good wishes that Mike can return home.

You can read Mike’s essay, “An Ethiopian Adoptee Deported to Ethiopia,” in our anthology Lions Roaring Far From Home. All revenue from sales goes to help Ethiopian adoptees.

“Lions Roaring” on Goodreads: 4.8 Stars Rating

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We are proud of our book, Lionss Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees” for many reasons. Its sales have greatly surpassed the majority of independently published books. On Amazon, it has a 4.8 Star rating. Revenue from sales goes to Ethiopian adoptees; we’ve contributed close to $2000 to GoFundMe and similar to help cover school costs, pay rent, pay medical bills, contribute to homeland travel, and more.

Cover art of Lions Roaring book. Ethiopian woman next to a roaring lion.

We also have a 4.8 Star rating on Goodreads, which is wonderful. We have 15 ratings and 3 reviews there.

Many thanks to everyone who has bought, read, shared, left stars, and supported our groundbreaking book.

Thank you as always also to Ethiopian artist Nahosenay Negussie for the brilliant cover art. We are so grateful to our Ethiopian community.

It’s an amazing book. Please share it with others!

3 Challenging Ideas for Adoptive Parents to Consider, If Not Embrace

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This is a starter pack of potentially jarring notions for us adoptive parents.

Consider how your brain and body react to them, and why.

If you feel defensive or dismissive, pause to consider why. If you nod and feel less alone, explore that. Feel free to share this post with others, including your adult adopted children, folks without direct connections to adoption, therapists, counselors, relatives, friends. Please feel welcome to share your reactions, either in the comments or in an email to me: Maureen@LightOfDayStories.com. I’d be happy to hear from anyone about these Challenging Ideas.

This is an unsettled time in the adoption community. Adoptees are speaking out more, on TikTok (#AdopteesOfTikTok) and other social media platforms. They are hosting adoptee-only webinars, starting nonprofits, building businesses related to adoption which do not involve placement of children. In my work with Adoption Mosaic, I have developed curriculum and co-facilitated multi-week workshops for Seasoned Parents and on Navigating Estrangement, geared to adoptive parents of adult adoptees. So many adoptive parents are perplexed by their adult children’s anger about adoption (or about the parents’ approach to racism and racial identity). So many are estranged. So many are startled by some of the current volatility in adoption.

Adoptees are not a monolith; nor are adoptive or birth parents, so there’s lots of room for conversation. And we need more conversations and connections in the adoption community.

Here are three Challenging Ideas. I will give a brief description, and then share some resources, mostly by adoptees. Some of the adoptees draw primarily from their lived experience; some draw from academic research.

Relinquishment in adoption is trauma. Adoption itself can be trauma as well.

The separation of children from their mother is inherently traumatic. Think of how you’d feel hearing about a baby or young child whose mother had died, recognizing the depth of that loss. Separation from one’s mother, even if for a child’s safety, is a traumatic event.That’s true in relinquishment for purposes of adoption as well. There is a wealth of material about Understanding Trauma and Behavior in Adopted Children. If children are older when they are relinquished, they may have also experienced many Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, such as neglect, abuse, witnessing violence, removal from their home into foster care, or relinquishment for adoption, which can include physical relocation into a place where they don’t speak the language, don’t have racial mirrors, and have been taken from all that was familiar.

None of this damns anyone to horrible outcomes, especially if they grow up with or at some point find stability, safety, and recognition of their needs. Not all adoptees do. In any case, the Hallmark version of adoption as all-happy, the rainbows-and-unicorns scenario, could use more skepticism and less pressure on adoptees, especially, to be grateful or to have no issues with having been relinquished and adopted.

Lina Vanegas MSW, an adopted person from Colombia, is profiled here as an Adoptee Advocate. She discusses trauma, loss, suicide prevention, and other related topics.

Via Boston Post-Adoption Resources, Erika Kramer MSW writes on Adoption Trauma.

Theodora Blanchfield AMFT, an adopted person, writes that “I Am Grateful to Be Adopted–And Yet, Adoption Is Still Traumatic.”

Michele Merritt, an adopted person, writes in Science Direct about “Discovering latent trauma: An adopted adult’s perspective.”

Adoption should be abolished.

Abolition of adoption is a complex subject. No one wants children to be abused, neglected, in danger, needing medical care, out on the streets: that’s true for adoption abolitionists as well.

What adoption abolitionists want, as I understand it, is a systems overhaul, where, for example, poverty or patriarchy aren’t automatic reasons to remove a child from a family. where no one is entitled to a child, where families have access to equitable medical care, where children can afford to go to school, where a child can remain somewhere within his or her won family, safely.

Adoption abolitionists argue for an overhaul of the current adoption industry, which would include ending it. First steps would include genuine transparency (currently lacking in many adoptions) where adoptees have access to their own information, such as their original birth certificates and their parents’ names. Fraud, corruption, and coercion in adoption practices must be eliminated.

The role of money, for example is a huge structural factor: it is mostly white, relatively wealthy people who adopt, and children of color who are removed from their families. An international or private attorney adoption of one child can cost $40,000. That money could instead be used for job training, rent, and child care to allow a mother to keep her child. I’ve heard more than once that “adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary situation,” for example.

The US adoption tax credit is a significant government option that goes to adoptive parents; over the years, it’s involved billions of dollars for adoptive parents. Imagine if there were a structural overhaul that re-distributed funds so that families could keep their children, or get medical care for the children, or help grandparents or older siblings to care for the children. According to the Tax Policy Center, “The adoption tax credit has been repeatedly expanded, from an initial maximum value of $5,000 in 1997 to $14,300 in 2020. In 2020, taxpayers claimed total adoption credits of $322 million. The temporary availability of a refundable credit pushed the cost of the credit up to the dramatically higher figures of $1.2 billion in 2010 and $610 million in 2011 (including the refundable portion).”

Adoption Mosaic held a We The Experts panel featuring four adoptees who advocate for the abolition of adoption. Learn more here.

Lina Vanegas, listed above, often writes about abolition, and has also presented workshops with Mila Konomos, an adopted person from Korean, who posts about adoption survivors, abolition, and liberation.

Melissa Corrigan, an adopted person, writes “Abolish adoption.”

Nicole Eigbrett, an adopted person from China, tells her story here: “Adoption abolition envisions a world without ‘organized abandonment’ “

Marjie Alonso, an adoptive parent, wrote “I willingly, joyfully adopted my sons from Paraguay. I would never do it again.”

Adoption is rooted in white privilege, supremacy, and saviorism.

This can be an especially hard idea for adoptive parents to wrestle with. Like many other aspects of societal inequity, adoption is rooted in power and privilege. Who adopts? Who loses their children to adoption? What do they look like? What are their incomes, education levels, religions?

How does adoption perpetuate societal inequities, rather than prevent or eliminate them?

Kimberly McKee, Ph.D., an adopted person from Korea, writes about “White Supremacy, Christian Americanism, and Adoption.”

Alyssa Enright, an adopted person from China, wrote this editorial: “White Saviorism’s Effect on Transracial Adoption.”

Chidimma Ozor Commer, Ph.D., wrote “When ‘Good Intentions’ Backfire: A Case for Non-Transracial Legal Guardianship Rather Than Adoption, and Why Transracial Adoption Is Not Trauma Informed.”

Final Words for Today

Please be assured that this is a superficial presentation of three topics that are deeply nuanced. Nonetheless, adoptive parents can and should lean into them, since their adopted children (perhaps especially those who are full-fledged adults) may be doing so as well. Yes, there can be great joy and love in adoptive families–I love my children more than I can say. I also know that relinquishment and adoption have deeply affected them, as well as their original families (including grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins). All children should be loved, safe, and as healthy as possible. All parents deserve to keep their children, and we all have a stake in helping them do so. That’s the goal. (There will always be exceptions.) How can we move toward that goal together, in a fair way, sooner rather than later?

Should Adoptive Parents Ask Adoptees For Help?

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Over the years, when adoptive parents are asking other adoptive parents for advice about adoption, I’ve recommended that they ask adult adoptees. I am reconsidering this approach.

My lens here is as a white adoptive parent of (now adult) Black children, two born in the US and two born in Ethiopia. In an international adoption group, questions like this have been posted: Would Europe be a safe, less racist place than the US for my Black son to live? Should we send money to our children’s birth family? My adopted child (a young adult) is feeling anxious about the current immigration-ICE events: what should I tell them?

We white adoptive parents tend to default to other white adoptive parents as sources of information about adoptees. Often this is because the parents live in an almost completely white space with few racial mentors and few adoptee mentors. Also, it may feel safer to ask our familiars these questions, than to do the work of developing friendships with, say, Black or Asian people. We may not know many (or any) adult adoptees, or may feel insecure about asking them questions. Sometimes adoptive parents feel they should know all the answers, as we are often held up as exemplary merely because we adopted.

Often in Facebook groups and in other settings, I suggest adoptive parents talk to adoptees to get answers to their questions. Why do I say this?

  • Adopted people are the experts on the lived experience of being adopted.
  • Adoptive parents need to stop defaulting to the safety and comfort of other adoptive parents as experts. Sure, they can be one source, but
  • For far too long, adoptive parents have dominated many adoption spaces, and were seen as the best and sometimes only people who should speak about adoption.
  • This one’s more nuanced: my implicit hope is that adoptive parents have done work to incorporate other adoptees and people of color (besides their children) in their lives because the parents are white and not adopted, and their children are not white and are adopted. They should have at least a few adult adoptees to talk to in person. “Should” is of course a tricky word.
Black and white photo of foggy street with trees and telephone poles
®Maureen McCauley. Foggy street, fog in adoption.

Our adopted children might be good sources of information, and we adoptive parents also ought to make the circle wider. I have had many adoption-related conversations with my four children, now all in their late 30’s. Each has a very different perspective on adoption. I got to know many adult adoptees during the process of editing our book, “Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees.” Those adoptees had been raised in the US, Canada, France, Sweden, Australia, and the Netherlands. I also follow groups such as Ethiopian Adoptees of the Diaspora, Ethiopian Adoptees Foundation, the podcast Ethiopian Adoptees Unapologetically Unfiltered, and more. I follow many adoptees on Instagram and on LinkedIn. There are lots on TikTok of course; I am not a frequent TikTok user.

I have probably overstepped fairly often, injected myself into conversations that were not mine to enter, and unintentionally leapt over boundaries. Mostly people have been kind to me about that.

Like any group, the perspective of adult adoptees will vary. That, to me, is why having a variety of folks to talk to can be so important.

Still: I believe we adoptive parents must accept that, while adoptees can be excellent, valuable sources of information, they have no obligation to talk with us. Some adoptees who are active on social media have no interest in talking with adoptive parents, their own or anybody else’s.

Others are more open to working with adoptive parents. Transracial adoptees Isaac Etter, Angela Tucker, Patrick Armstrong, and Cam Lee Small come to mind, for example. Same race adoptees Joyce Maguire Pavao, Jennifer Dyan Ghoston‘s podcast “Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland,” and Haley Radke’s podcast AdopteesOn all provide amazing resources. I’d be remiss if I did not mention the incredible, valuable programs of Adoption Mosaic, for whom I am a co-facilitator and consultant. The “We The Experts” programs are thoughtful, challenging, and community-building. The adoptee-centric workshops require that non-adoptees do not ask questions or otherwise comment; we are meant to listen and learn.

When we connect with any of these folks, and there are many more, we adoptive parents should consider the professional training in which many of the adoptees have participated. Buy the books. Pay for the classes. Leave a positive review. Do not partake without giving back in some way.

Consider also the value of lived experience and the notion of emotional labor. The essays that are in “Lions Roaring” are an example of that. Some of our writers shared stories that are haunting and painful. They wrote from their hearts, and the rest of us are fortunate to read their words. Some of the writers do not want to read their own words ever again, because offering that gift of writing was soul-draining.

Some adoptees thus have no interest in performing any emotional labor, especially for adoptive parents. It’s too heartbreaking for them. We adoptive parents need to be mindful of that, and not expect that all adoptees can or ought to share with us. Ask first; respect boundaries without judgment. Express gratitude.

I continue to learn, including now from my grandchildren, who are not adopted yet adoption affects them too, as the children of adoptees. I believe fully in listening to adoptees, in asking questions while first asking permission, and in respecting those who may not want to talk whether because of deep trauma or a headache or whatever: no reason has to be given. I will do my best to answer questions as well, if asked, and to hold myself back from offering my insights if not asked. I genuinely hope we can all continue to learn from each other, to heal, to grow.

How Can We Get Justice for Begidu Morris, the Ethiopian Adoptee Killed at 10 Years Old?

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My dear friend Ferehiwot Tsagaye, an Ethiopian adoptee, said this on a Facebook post:

This could’ve been me.

Begidu Morris was a 10-year-old Ethiopian adoptee—just like I once was. But instead of being protected, he was locked in a closet, starved, and abused until his little body couldn’t take it anymore.

And yet… his adoptive parents are still free.

I’ve been fighting for years to help adoptees reconnect with their roots, their families, and their identities—because stories like Begidu’s are not rare.

Too many of us were adopted into silence, pain, and racism, behind a smile and a church pew. We were told to be grateful while we were breaking inside.

As an adoptee and an advocate, I refuse to let his story be forgotten.

We will be the voice he was never given.

We will fight for the justice he never received.

We will demand accountability—for Hana, for Begidu, for all of us.

Enough is enough.

Beautifully said, Ferehiwot.

Many Ethiopian adoptees have spoken out for Begidu. I am hopeful that *all* of us in the adoption community will do so: adoptive parents, adoption agencies, adoption-related organizations.

I posted recently about Begidu, who died in March 2022, whose death was ruled a homicide, and whose case has not been brought to trial.

From A Life Discounted: the tragic story of Begidu Morris, “According to the DCF child fatality summary, Begidu Morris collapsed at home in Lee County, Florida, on March 17, 2022 and was transported to Golisano Children’s Hospital. He was diagnosed with subdural hematoma, hypothermia, cardiac arrest, acute respiratory failure, retinal hemorrhages, and metabolic acidosis….Three years after Begidu’s death, the police have made no arrests in the case.”

From the Child Fatality Report, March 2022: “The facts of the case were reviewed with the State’s Attorney’s office and ultimately, no action was taken as the perpetrator of the abuse could not be determined at that time.”

Yes, that’s right: The Child Fatality Report ruled Begidu’s death a homicide, and determined that either the adoptive mother or the teenage sibling was likely responsible. The State’s Attorney’s office then moved no further toward justice for Begidu.

So what should and can we do?

My hope is that other adoptive parents like me will feel called to find justice for an Ethiopian adoptee. When we adopted from Ethiopia, we made a connection with the country and the children, the families, the culture. While our priority is to our children; I believe that our compassion and energy should extend to other Ethiopian adoptees as well. Begidu was somebody else’s adopted child: adoptive parents who tortured the little boy, who died after 5 days in a hospital, perhaps alone.

He seemed to have no one speaking up for him when he died.

We can spread the word about this case, posting on Facebook or on blogs or in adoptive parent groups.

We can email the State’s Attorney in Florida who has jurisdiction for the case, who apparently decided there was nothing more that could be done for Begidu, despite the determination of horrific abuse and homicide. Her name is Amira Fox. She is the State’s Attorney for five Florida counties, including Lee County, where Begidu died. Her web site is here. Ms. Fox’s email is stateattorney@sao20.org.

Here’s a recent post from her Facebook page. I am glad to see she’s #AllAboutTheKids.

If you are in Florida, emailing and otherwise contacting Ms. Fox’s office is especially useful. That said, getting the word out that folks across the country are concerned about this is also important.

A brief email is fine. If anyone wants help drafting one, I am happy to help.

Emails can also be sent to Governor Ron DeSantis, and to other federal and state representatives.

Share this story with news outlets, in Florida, Ethiopia, and elsewhere: Addis Standard, CNN, 60 Minutes, New York Times, Washington Post, etc. Contact The News-Press, the newspaper for Lee County–Fort Meyers area where Begidu died, and ask why a search for “Begidu Morris” shows no results, yet “Amira Fox” yields many.

We can recognize the emotional labor of Ethiopian and other adoptees who speak out about the case, and the pain it causes for them. I am grateful to each of them.

Here are some of those, in addition to Ferehiwot, who have spoken out:

Hakima Alem posted this on TikTok.

Lidet O’Connor (host of Ethiopian Adoptees Unapologetically Unfiltered podcast) posted this on TikTok.

“Who Protects Ethiopian Children Adopted by Strangers? Begidu and the Failed Promise of Ethiopian Adoption” by Kassaye Berhanu (Substack)

Begidu Morris by Moses Farrow (Instagram)

Justice for Begidu from Adoptee_Diaries (Instagram)

If you speak out in any way asking for Justice for Begidu, please share that action with others. I’d especially like to hear about the actions of adoptive parents, adoption agencies, and adoption-related organizations.

This little child, abused and killed by his adoptive family, deserves justice, and must not be forgotten.

Why Aren’t the Adoptive Parents of Begidu Morris in Jail for His Tragic Death?

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They should be held accountable for this little boy’s death.

Ethiopian adoptee Begidu Morris died in 2022 at 10 years old. He weighed 44 pounds: the average 10 year old weighs around 65 pounds. He was covered with scars and burn marks. He had multiple physical traumas, and certainly unimaginable emotional injuries as well–conditions that no child should ever have to endure.

Consuela and Jack Morris, his adoptive parents, have never been charged, though Florida Child Protective Services found that “the parents either participated in the abuse that led to the child’s injuries and subsequent death, or they participated in concealing the horrific abuse and neglect that he suffered.”

In other words, no one has ever been held officially accountable for this little child’s horrific death. Whoever is guilty is living without punishment, free, without justice for their crimes.

@hakima_alem

Link to Child Fatality Report https:// livescutshort.org/wp-content/uploads/ 2024/04/2022-084517.pdf #justiceforbegidu #fyp #adoption #ethiopian_tik_tok #habeshatiktok #begidu #protectchildren #ethiopian_tik_tok🇪🇹🇪🇹🇪🇹🇪🇹

♬ original sound – Hakima Alem

From “A Life Discounted: the tragic story of Begidu Morris, “According to the DCF child fatality summary, Begidu Morris collapsed at home in Lee County, Florida, on March 17, 2022 and was transported to Golisano Children’s Hospital. He was diagnosed with subdural hematoma, hypothermia, cardiac arrest, acute respiratory failure, retinal hemorrhages, and metabolic acidosis.”

“The CPS investigation concluded that “[a]lthough it was not able to be determined with certainty who inflicted the injury/injuries that led to this child’s death, it can be concluded that the parents either participated in the abuse that led to the child’s injuries and subsequent death, or they participated in concealing the horrific abuse and neglect that he suffered.” It found the parents Jack and Consuelo Morris responsible for Begidu’s death and for “bizarre punishments,” internal injuries, physical injuries, medical neglect, ‘failure to thrive/malnutrition/dehydration,’ failure to protect, and inadequate supervision.”

“Three years after Begidu’s death, the police have made no arrests in the case. The DCF Investigation Summary states that CPS was involved in multiple meetings, including with the State Attorney’s Office (SAO) and that

“[u]ltimately no action was taken by the SAO as the perpetrator of abuse could not be determined based on the information that was available at the time of their staffing. There were two individuals (the mother and [the brother]) in the home capable of causing the head trauma to the child; the individual responsible for the abuse could not be determined.

As the Child Welfare Monitor article states, “The lack of charges is almost incredible. If they could not have charged anyone with the actual homicide, it is hard not to understand how the parents could not have been charged with multiple counts of child abuse, charges that surely exist in Florida as they do in other states. It is hard not to ask the question, as one child advocate (Dawn Post) put it, could this happen if Begidu were White? The State’s Attorney denied my request for the investigation records on the grounds that ‘there is still an active investigation.’ But it is hard to believe that the police are still seriously working on this case.”

Share his story: do not let Begidu be forgotten. #JusticeForBegidu

Here are other important sources of information:

“Who Protects Ethiopian Children Adopted by Strangers? Begidu and the Failed Promise of Ethiopian Adoption” by Kassaye Berhanu (Substack)

Begidu Morris by Moses Farrow (Instagram)

Justice for Begidu from Adoptee_Diaries (Instagram)

Data Breach of Gladney Adoption Center Exposes Confidential Information

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The notion of confidentiality of adoption records is sorely challenged these days, not only by DNA testing but also by data breaches.

A Wired magazine article reported that Gladney Center for Adoption’s “Data Exposure Revealed Information About Children and Parents.“

Screenshot

In late June, Jeremiah Fowler, a data-breach hunter, “came across a publicly accessible database on line that seemed to contain information about adoption,” identified it as Gladney, and notified them. Within a couple of days, the site was “silently secured.”

Fowler was, according to Wired, ‘particularly alarmed to see adoption-related data, because the trove included details like the identities of some children’s biological parents, data on individuals’ medical and mental health status, information about interactions with Child Protective Services, and even records referencing court orders. The database also included…identifying information like names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, and unique identifiers assigned to children’s cases.” The trove contained more than 1.1 million records and was 2.49 GB, the article states.

Gladney Adoption Center is based in Texas, is over 135 years old, and is licensed in 12 states.

I did not find information about the data breach on their blog or their webpage when I looked at it today.

Gladney’s statement in the Wired article by chief operating officer Lisa Schuessler included this: “…in the case of any determination of sensitive information…we notify all impacted individuals.”

The efforts of adoption agencies and adoption attorneys to keep records secure and confidential are not at all guaranteed to succeed. I don’t know how Gladney handled this breach with adoptees, birth families, and adoptive parents. It sure seems to me to have chilling ramifications, including for private and public agencies of all sizes. The adoption community’s confidence in “Confidentiality” is eroding. Access to information could come in unexpected ways. Adoption agencies and lawyers need to be transparent and proactive about these realities.

Swedish Adoptive Parents Urge an End to Adoption, an Apology to Adoptees, Funding for Adoptee Homeland Visits : An Example for the U.S.?

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A widely-read newspaper in Sweden, Aftonbladet (“Evening News”), recently published an article signed by 12 Swedish adoptive parents announcing their support for a proposal to stop adoptions to Sweden. Here’s the link to the article in Swedish; the Google Translate version in English is printed at the end of this post.

The adoptive parents also fully support the proposal that illegally adopted people should receive an apology from the Swedish government, and that the adoptees should be offered financial support for return trips to their country of birth and to search for their roots.

Additionally, the parents noted that we adoptive parents can love their adopted children deeply, and also recognize and regret the damage that fraud and other inequities can cause in adoption. Via Google Translate, “As much as we love our adopted children, we feel sad about what has happened. It is not possible to weigh children’s opportunities for a secure future in Sweden against the risk of children having their papers forged and being illegally adopted away from their families of origin.”

This is the “both/and” of many of us in the adoption community, including adoptees. We can love our families, and loathe the adoption industrial complex. I give credit to the Swedish parents for voicing this so publicly.

An adult and a child are walking along the beach. The sky and beach look hazy.
Photo by Maureen McCauley (copyrighted)

In June of this year, according to PBS.org, “A Swedish commission recommended that international adoptions be stopped after an investigation found a series of abuses and fraud dating back decades…The assignment was to investigate whether there had been irregularities that the Swedish actors knew about, could have done and actually did,” Anna Singer, a legal expert and the head of the commission…And actors include everyone who has had anything to do with international adoption activities.

It includes the government, the supervisory authority, organization, municipalities and courts. The conclusion is that there have been irregularities in the international adoptions to Sweden.”

Swedish scholar Tobias Hubinette PhD, who is also an adopted person from South Korea, on July 9 posted information about the remarkable public statement by the adoptive parents, noting that “Previously, a smaller group of (Swedish) adoptive parents who have adopted from Chile have signed an appeal demanding that the Adoptioncentrum‘s adoptions from Chile to Sweden be investigated, but never before have so many Swedish adoptive parents together been behind an article like the one found in the Aftonbladet.”

Adoptioncentrum, by its own description, is “the largest and most experienced adoption organisation in Sweden, and one of the largest and most experienced organisations in the entire world. We are currently collaborating with authorities and NGOs in more than 20 countries.”

Many folks in Western Europe have been active in speaking out about adoption illegalities. Norway, The Netherlands, and Denmark have ended or restricted international adoptions. This past February, a Swiss news source printed “Why countries are banning international adoptions,” noting that Flanders in Belgium and the U.K. (in addition to Norway, The Netherlands, and Denmark) have investigated and restricted international adoptions. Switzerland plans to end international adoptions at the end of 2026.

There have been many reports about fraud in international adoptions, including from the Associated Press South Korean adoptions.

“The Chinese Adoptees Who Were Stolen” via The New Yorker in May 2025 notes that “As thousands of Chinese families take DNA tests, the results are upending what adoptees abroad thought they knew about their origins.”

We in the United States need to be aware of the rising tide of news and actions being taken by other adoptive parents, and of course by adoptees, around the world, including calls for restrictions, apologies, investigations, reparations, annulments, and more

Around the entire globe, only the United States actually deports international adoptees. We must speak out on behalf of adoptees in regard to citizenship issues.

And we must open our hearts, minds, and eyes to what is happening in other countries and what other parents are doing to combat fraud and inequity. Maybe we need to do that especially because we love our children deeply.

Google Translate of Aftonbladet article, from Swedish to English:

We are people who have adopted ourselves. We have followed the work of the Adoption Commission with great interest, the final results of which were presented in June. We are saddened and appalled by the extent of legal uncertainty that has occurred in international adoptions to Sweden over the decades. We are very upset by the irregularities that have occurred in several cases in the adoption process.

As much as we love our adopted children, we feel sad about what has happened. It is not possible to weigh children’s opportunities for a secure future in Sweden against the risk of children having their papers forged and being illegally adopted away from their families of origin.

The right to identity and origin should not be determined by economic circumstances.
We want to be clear that our position is not about our feelings and choices, but about the fact that sometimes you have to look up and see structures and be able to have several thoughts in your head.

We fully support the adoption commission’s proposal that people who have been adopted to Sweden on illegal grounds should receive an apology from the Swedish state. This should be a given. We agree with the investigation’s conclusion that people who have been adopted should be offered financial support for return trips to their country of birth and to search for their roots.

The right to identity and origin should not be determined by economic circumstances. In addition, adoptees should be offered high-quality conversation support, adapted to their experiences

Many who have been adopted are now adults, but there are also many who are still children. We believe that families who have recently adopted children should receive readily available support, due to the double burden that many children have of separation trauma and disability or illness.

We support the inquiry’s proposal to stop adoptions to Sweden
Today, support for adoptive families is weak in terms of child psychiatry and parental support, and is also unevenly distributed across the country. We all need to learn from the mistakes that have been made and ensure that children who have come to Sweden through adoption and their families are given the right tools to counteract mental illness

The Convention on the Rights of the Child contains several paragraphs that are difficult to reconcile with international adoption of children, for example Articles 8 and 30, concerning the right of children to preserve their identity, language and culture. The investigation also shows that children from indigenous peoples and indigenous minorities are overrepresented among children who are adopted away, due to discrimination in their countries of birth. We consider this to be an unacceptable basis for adoption.

We therefore support the investigation’s proposal to stop adoptions to Sweden. Adoption of children between countries should always be legally secure and be the last opportunity for a child to have their own family, and if this cannot be guaranteed, the mediation needs to be stopped.

Karin Andersen
Johanna Andersson
Suzanna Asp
Carmilla Floyd
Marita Rodriguez Gallardo
Anna Gemfeldt
Tomas Rodriguez Hedling
Anneli Nordling
Kalle Norwald
Helga Stensson
Patrik Stensson
Anna-Stina Takala


Adoptive Parents Must Step Up in the Time of ICE and Deportation Fear

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It would be great if none of us had to worry about deportation or ICE roundups, and about what to do if we get caught up in a raid. We parents who adopted internationally may feel everything is fine because our children–whether they are 4 years old or 39–have their Certificate of Citizenship or a valid passport. The Social Security Administration recognizes their US citizenship. That’s great.

And yet it may not be enough to prevent a sense of anxiety and even fear, especially for Brown and Black transracial adoptees from countries that are being targeted, Additionally, many international adoptees may not be US citizens. Some know this, and some are unaware, assuming that they are citizens. Adoptees without citizenship have been and continue to be deported.

What can and should adoptive parents do to help, given that we committed ourselves to international adoption?

  • Learn about the issue.
  • Be open and curious abut how adoptees are feeling.
  • Use our position as adoptive parents to help advance legislation to provide citizenship to all international adoptees and to prevent deportation.
  • Support and donate to adoptee-led organizations who are helping international adoptees with citizenship issues.

One concrete and important step is here: Dear Parents of Intercountry Adoptees: Do These Two Things Today. Consider this valuable and free advice from a lawyer who is also an adoptee.

Then move on to these items:

Learn

A brief overview:

International adoptees enter the United States as immigrants.

Adoptive parents have the responsibility to get citizenship for their children who are minors when they arrive here. Citizenship became automatic for international adoptees under 18 years old (though there is still paperwork involved) as a result of the Child Citizenship Act of 2000.

From the Adoptee Rights Law Center: “…despite the adoption, thousands of intercountry adoptees continue to have significant issues with US citizenship today. Those issues include:

  1. Securing U.S. Citizenship. Tens of thousands of intercountry adoptees today do not have US citizenship, despite being adopted as children by US citizen parents.
  2. Proving U.S. Citizenship. Even if intercountry adoptees acquired U.S. citizenship under the Child Citizenship Act of 2000, many may not have proof of that citizenship, either through a US passport or a Certificate of Citizenship.

Both issues are fraught with difficulty and may come with life-altering repercussions. Making it worse, U.S. law currently excludes older intercountry adoptees—those born prior to March 1983—from acquiring citizenship through adoption. Instead, they must often go through a long and expensive immigration process to naturalize as U.S. citizens. As adults today, they are considered immigrants, and are subject to deportation if they commit a crime or are not found to be in the country properly. This is fundamentally wrong.”

Adoption immigration law can be complicated, depending on when a child was adopted, what visa they entered with, and whether they commit a crime. Because of this, many international adoptees–even those with citizenship–feel concerned, perhaps about themselves, and perhaps about their fellow adoptees,

Be open and curious about how adoptees are feeling.

We adoptive parents who were born here in the US have rarely had to worry about proving citizenship, or even thinking about it.

Our adopted children look at the world through a different lens: as immigrants, perhaps as people of color. Their country of origin may also affect the way they see the world and the world sees them. Haiti, Nicaragua, Russia, Ukraine, Guatemala, and Mexico come to mind. Even if your child is not from one of those countries, or has no concerns about citizenship, as adoptive parents we can and should show empathy and concern for other adoptees.

Here are some adoptee perspectives:

Citizenship and Immigration Issues for Intercountry Adopted People: FAQ. Prepared by the Adoptee Rights Law Center, this list illustrates the concerns and quandaries of international adoptees in terms of documents and other resources.

Adoption, Belonging, and the Question of Citizenship: A U.S. adoptee reflects on the implications of birthright citizenship, closed records, possible inaccuracies or fraud, and how both domestic and international adoptees can be affected.

A Reddit conversation posted by an adoptee from China: Is anyone else paranoid about getting deported?

Thousands of Children Adopted by Americans Are Without Citizenship. Congress is Unwilling to Act. An AP article featuring adoptees from Iran, South Korea, Ethiopia, and elsewhere.

Use our position as adoptive parents to help advance legislation to provide citizenship to all international adoptees and to prevent deportation.

Legislation that would provide citizenship to all international adoptees has stalled in Congress for about 10 years. One challenge is that any immigrant without citizenship who commits a crime can be subject to deportation. Adoptees are included in this, regardless of the fact that they were brought here legally by US parents and with the oversight and permission of the sending country. (Some adoptive parents brought children to the US illegally, for medical or other reasons. They have a particular responsibility to acquire citizenship for their children, and it may not be easy.)

Aside from that, international adoptees without citizenship (for whatever reason) are technically here in the US illegally, and could be swept up in ICE raids. This possibility has fueled a great deal of fear among adoptees.

Adoptees for Justice has been actively working on this issue for years. Read more about their efforts on the Adoptee Citizenship Act (ACA) here. Donate to Adoptees for Justice if you can; share their information and ask your federal representatives to support citizenship for all adoptees.

If the ACA were passed, international adoptees who have been deported could return home. Adoptees have been deported to many countries: Germany, Ethiopia, Morocco, Mexico, Canada, India, Brazil, and more. There is a Wikipedia page about Korean adoptees who were deported back to South Korea.

From NPR: “NPR previously reported of an adoptee and father of five who was convicted of marijuana possession in Texas. Because his adoption was filed improperly, he was sent to his birth country of Mexico after having served a few years in prison.”

Support adoptees; Donate to adoptee-led organizations who are helping international adoptees with citizenship issues.

Here are resources to support, and to share with international adoptees and others in the adoption community.

I’ve previously mentioned and urge your support of Adoptees for Justice and the Adoptee Rights Law Center.

The Adoptee Rights Law Center offers free and low cost clinics for international adoptees who have questions about citizenship.

Adoption Mosaic is hosting an Adoptee Wellness Chat on July 16 This is an online, adoptee only event: “We will hold a virtual space to gather, reflect, and process together in light of recent political shifts. We intend to create a supportive environment where we can connect, recharge, and discuss how current policies affect us as individuals, as adoptees, and as a community.”

I understand that about 100 adoptees have registered so far, which gives a sense for what’s percolating among international adoptees right now.

Here’s a great list of Legal Resources for Intercountry Adoptees from Adoptees United. Adoptees United is related to the Adoptee Rights Law Center. Adoptees United is led by adoptees in the United States. “We are committed to a diverse board and organization that represents the interests of all adoptees, whether domestic, intercountry, transracial, or former foster youth.”

Support the work of the National Alliance for Adoptee Equality. Sign their petition for passage of the Adoptee Citizenship Act.


Hold space. Make space. Talk with whomever in your life might be at jeopardy, or might just be worried and stressed. Your adopted son or daughter might not want to talk about it. Keep learning nonetheless. Make sure you have all documents and copies (scroll down that page for the list of documents), all secured in a safe place.

Advocate for citizenship for all adoptees. Donate to help deported adoptees, like Mike Davis who was deported to Ethiopia decades ago and hopes to someday meet his grandchildren in person. Mike and other deported adoptees often struggle with life in deportation: they are isolated, often ostracized, don’t speak the language, and have difficulty securing work, housing, and medical care.

We adoptive parents have power to bring about change. Now is the time to be strong allies for international adoptees, to step up and do the work.