“Colin in Black and White:” NAAM

This is day 9 of National Adoption Awareness Month, so this is my daily post to amplify the voices of adoptees.

This series should be mandatory viewing for prospective adoptive parents. Mandatory viewing for adoption agency staff, therapists, and counselors. Everyone should watch “Colin in Black and White,” now on Netflix, but those folks should be among the first in line. Adoption is not the main focus of the six episodes, and Colin Kaepernick arguably is so well-known that he does not need his voice elevated. Still, the story of adoptee Colin Kaepernick, Black/biracial son of white adoptive parents, will resonate with many adoptees. I hope the show generates a lot of conversations about transracial adoption and the need for racial mirrors and mentors. Perhaps it will also elevate the voices of other adoptees as to the genuine work that needs tp be done in the adoption community.

Ava DuVernay is a co-creator, director, and producer of the series.

Quarterback Colin Kaepernick achieved fame most notoriously for kneeling during the national anthem to protest racism in America. White America punished him severely for that, in a knee-jerk reaction that was not rooted in understanding Colin’s rationale (American history, personal trauma, willingness to take a stand against injustice–a great American tradition) behind the decision to kneel.

This new memoir/documentary/re-creation of Colin’s coming-of-age looks not only at Colin’s high school years, but also at the crushing, cruel realities of racism in America. He got his hair braided (and his head hurt a lot the first time), and then had to cut it in acquiescence to white people’s standards, those of his white adoptive parents and his coaches. Allen Iverson features prominently in that part of the film and his life. Interactions between Colin and Black people in real life were tentative, comforting, confusing, and soul-healing.

That hair.

Colin’s adoptive white parents came across to me the way a lot of white adoptive parents (that includes me) do: well-intentioned, loving, and missing a strong racial lens. They just didn’t get what it meant that Colin was Black, and would be perceived by the world as a Black boy and then man. Nice people, encased in white privilege. Totally unable to see the racism and micro aggressions that Colin was subjected to. It is painful to watch, and it happens all the time in transracial adoption.

The show also contains a Black history primer, including a re-enactment of the career of the great artist Romare Bearden, who was also a star baseball player. Colin narrates and curates a range of information and history, and integrates these sequences with his own story. I’d love to see another season where Kaepernick weighs in more viscerally on adoption, as well as about his decision to kneel during the national anthem. In any case, this is a thought-provoking show to watch, for all of us in the adoption community, and for anyone who wants to learn more about one of America’s most intriguing and talented sports icons.

Kaepernick: Patriotism, Racism, and Adoption

Ever been to a public sports event, say, an NFL game? When the national anthem is played or sung, does everyone stand quietly and respectfully?

No. Drunk people shriek and yell during the national anthem. Sober people talk and stare at their iPhones and bobble in the hot dog line, all during the national anthem.

Colin Kaepernick sat rather than stood through the national anthem, with intention, in the tradition of civil protest, and calmly explained why.

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” Kaepernick told NFL Media in an exclusive interview after the game. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

We all need to sit with his statement, before conflating it with disdain for all police or hatred for America. This may especially be true for white adoptive parents of black children.

Kaepernick is a transracial adoptee, raised by white parents.

White adoptive parents: Can you see Colin Kaepernick as your black child, protesting the oppression of people of color, and then being vilified from many quarters?

Have you consulted with black friends as to their perspective?

Have you read through theroot.com and blavity.com or hiphopwired.com for their take? Have you read through the many social media sites that reflect the views of black people?

The world is going to see our children as black men and women. Whether we want to believe it or not, we live in a racist society. Our white privilege will not protect our children. It’s not protecting Colin Kaepernick.

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How would you handle your black child repeatedly and publicly being called “nigger” and told to leave the country, because he protested the oppression of people of color?

How will you explain to your black kids that there are people burning Kaepernick’s jersey, in a manner reminiscent of hanging effigies? Those folks are not writing commentary or thoughtfully tweeting: they are setting fires and posting videos. It’s not a peaceful dialogue. When you reflect on lynching and strange fruit, what will you say to your kids?

How will you explain “patriotism” to your children: as speaking up for people of color in a legal, non-violent way in a country founded on freedom of speech? Or as standing for a national anthem that, as it turns out, is rooted in racism?

I stand when the national anthem plays. I take pride in many aspects of being American, and I recognize the many privileges and advantages we have.

As a white parent and grandmother of black children, I also stand with Colin Kaepernick, as he has shown intentional advocacy in raising awareness of the racism in our beloved country. Colin will be fine, and will weather the attacks and the ugly vilification that are the tradition of responses to civil rights protests in America. It will take time, it’s a hard road, and we all have to travel it.