Category Archives: adoptees

The Loneliness of Deported Adoptees

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A favor: please keep in mind the many deported adoptees who are alone in a country with which they have little connection. They were adopted by U.S. citizens and raised in America, the place they call home.

They didn’t get U.S. citizenship, due to their adoptive parents not completing the process, or to bureaucratic snafus, or to some other reason beyond their control: they were children when they were adopted into what was supposed to be a “forever family.”

Some adoptees have been shocked to find out, as adults, that they could not prove they were American citizens. While citizenship was granted to international adoptees 18 and younger in 2000, there are estimated thousands who are now in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and older who may not even know they aren’t legal citizens.

And some have been deported, to countries where they don’t know anyone, don’t know the language, are unable to get work, and get little help from anyone.

They are lonely. Some of the older ones have serious health issues, like gout and diabetes, with little access to medications or medical care. They are not eligible for Social Security (regardless of how much they paid into it) or Medicare. They don’t speak the language, and they often have difficulty fitting in or finding a community.

Keep them in your heart, would you? Many feel forgotten. They left their original countries as little children, brought to America and (we hope) an adoptive family that loved them and kept them safe. Some deported adoptees married and have children they haven’t seen for years, and possibly never will again. I know one adoptee who has never met his own grandchildren. Some haven’t seen their siblings or parents or friends for decades, and every day can be very hard.

International adoptees should NOT be subject to deportation. It was not their fault that they did not get citizenship as children, when they were brought legally here to the U.S. (It is very hard for them to gain citizenship once they are adults.)

It’s their loneliness that haunts me, and keeps me advocating for legislation that will allow them to come home.

Meanwhile, please do not forget them.

Australia Calls for More Research on Suicide and Adoption

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An important report, “Intercountry Adoption and Suicide in Australia: A Scoping Review,” has been released by the Australian Department of Social Services.

While it focuses on Australia, the report has great relevance to other countries, both sending and receiving. More research is needed, and there is enough research globally (especially from Europe and the US) that action is needed as well.

Please share this report with adoption agencies, adoption organizations, therapists, and anyone with a connection to the adoption community. We need both more research and more prevention strategies.

Recommendations from the report from authors Ryan Gustafsson and Patricia Fronek include the following:

  • Increased collection of data on adoptee suicide.
  • A question on connection to adoption in all health care settings (i.e., “Are you affected by adoption?”)
  • A question about connection to adoption in practitioner interviews following suicide.
  • Increased identification of risk and prevention strategies in the intercountry adopteee community.
  • Development of practice guidelines (for therapists, counselors, health care practitioners) including adoptee experiences to inform interventions for at-risk adoptees.
  • Increased awareness in adoption communities, in schools, and for therapists and health care practitioners, about suicide and intercountry adoptees.

Adoptees Connected with the Report

Among the adoptees who contributed to the research cited in the report are the following: Amanda Baden, Tobias Hübinette, Hollee McGinnis, Gina Samuels, Lina Vanegas, Indigo Willing, Soorien Zeldenrust, Dong-Mi Engels, and Inter Country Adoptee Voices (ICAV).

The art in the report was created by three Australian adoptee artists: Gabby Malpas, Ebony Hickey, and Jonas Haid.

© Commonwealth of Australia (Department of Social Services) 2022

Here are a few takeaways from the report.

“Unknowns”

“Barriers to communication about the adoption experience and the disconnect between how an adoptee is expected to feel and how they actually feel are commonly reported experiences. Living with a set of ‘unknowns’ can be particularly challenging during significant life events such as searching for first family or visiting country of origin, medical diagnoses, childbirth, or loss of family members. Moreover, these challenges are not necessarily resolved when an adoptee is able to reconnect with their first families.”

Impact of Racism

“In addition, experiences of racism, discrimination, and microaggressions have been documented in studies on transracial adoptee experiences (Fronek & Briggs, 2018; Hübinette & Tigervall, 2009). The isolating impacts of racism can be exacerbated if adoptive families are dismissive of adoptees’ experiences and can lead to ‘topic avoidance’ around issues of race within adoptive familial contexts (Chang, Feldman, & Easley, 2017; Docan-Morgan, 2010; Samuels, 2009). Racism, including everyday racism, functions to intensify difference and is a common experience for many adoptees in Australia as well as internationally (Walton, 2012).”

Studies on Suicide Risk and Adoptees

“Von Borczyskowski et al. (2011) compared outcomes for adoptees and non-adoptees born between 1946 and 1968, and found adoptees had higher rates of suicide, 8.5 compared to 5.2 per 1000 men and 3.9 compared to 2.0 per 1000 women. Although the researchers point to heritable risk factors, they also suggest that adoption itself may lead to increased suicide risk. In their investigation of the link between school grades, parental education, and suicide among Swedish birth cohorts born between 1972 and 1981, Björkenstam et al. (2011) found the suicide rate for adoptees was more than twice that of non-adoptees and a correlation was found between low school grades and suicide risk.”

“Elevated risks of death by suicide”

“The meta-analysis conducted by Campo-Arias, Egurrola-Pedraza and Herazo (2020) found that intercountry adoptees carried twice the risk for suicide attempts. The studies conducted in Nordic countries and Minnesota found elevated risks of death by suicide and non-fatal attempts up to four and five times greater for intercountry adoptees than other sections of the population…

It has been suggested that intercountry adoptees’ experiences of racialisation, racial isolation and discrimination lead in some cases to severe crises of identity and that adolescent adoptees can face additional difficulties regarding belonging and identity due to having to navigate multiple identities.”

“Systemic and everyday racism; Racial isolation, discrimination, and bullying“

“Hübinette (2012) contended that systemic and everyday racism, and the distinct bodily and affective impacts of transracial placements, must form part of analyses of intercountry adoptees’ heightened vulnerability and high suicide rates. Similarly, Schwekendiek (2019) described how the racial isolation, discrimination and bullying experienced by Korean adoptees contributes to social maladjustment.”

Recommendations for Health Care Practitioners

“Graham (2014, p.21) suggested including the question “are you affected by adoption?” in all healthcare intake settings nationwide, including crisis helpline services, as well as increasing awareness among practitioners of adoptee suicide risks. Similarly, Baden et al. (2016) recommended developing and implementing training programs for all clinical practitioners to ensure adoption-competent approaches to service provision and the need to develop evidence-based practices to intervene with adoptees at risk. Importantly, they recommended that instruments be validated, and interventions developed with intercountry adoptees, first parents and adoptive parents. The need for identifying, implementing, and evaluating post adoption support services is recommended (Gair, 2015; Fronek & Briggs, 2018). This is particularly important given adoptees identify that practitioners with limited knowledge of adoption is problematic when they seek help (Fronek & Briggs, 2018).”

“Lions Roaring” Anthology at Conference of Black German Research and History Association

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Kassaye Berhanu-MacDonald and I will be speaking tomorrow about “Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology By Ethiopian Adoptees,” at the free online conference of the Black German Research and History Association (BGHRA). Kassaye and I are two of three co-editors of “Lions Roaring;” Aselefech Evans is also an editor.

The “Lions Roaring” panel will take place at 4:45pm est tomorrow Thursday February 23. Please register here to get the Zoom link for the free online conference.

The themes of the BGHRA conference is “Art as Resistance,” and I encourage you to attend as many workshops and keynotes as you can. Kassaye and I are thrilled to have been asked to talk about the book, its origins, its intent, and its powerful stories.

Several of our writers, all Ethiopian adoptees, are also Europeans, raised and/or living in Sweden, France, and the Netherlands. There are, of course, many Ethiopian adoptees in Germany, Norway, Italy, Spain, the UK, and elsewhere in Europe.

Our writers also were raised and/or now live in the US, Australia, Canada, and Ethiopia.

We appreciate BGHRA inviting us to talk about the book, about the lived experiences of Ethiopian adoptees raised around the globe, and about how the anthology itself is an act of resistance.

And we look forward to a lively conversation tomorrow. Join us!

An Adoptive Parents’ Guide to “Lions Roaring Far From Home”

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We have been thrilled and honored by the response to our new book, “Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees.” It has been selling well, and is at the top of Amazon Hot New Releases in Adoption.

Our hope is that the primary readers will be Ethiopian and other adoptees, especially international and transracial adoptees. From the book’s Introduction: “We want to draw attention to the particularities of being a Black adoptee from Africa, placed with white families.”

We also are hopeful that adoptive parents will read the book, especially parents of Ethiopian adoptees, and also of other international, transracial adoptees.

Front cover of the book: Painting by Ethiopian artist Nahosenay Negussie of an Ethiopian woman standing proudly next to a roaring lion.
Image description: The front cover of “Lions Roaring” book, a painting of an Ethiopian woman next to a roaring lion.

Of course, we are hopeful that the Ethiopian community, including the diaspora, will read the book, as well as family members of adoptees, along with therapists, adoption agency staff, adoption-related organizations, social workers, undergrad and graduate students, book clubs, anyone interested in reading a great collection of powerful essays. If you know Oprah, Angelina, or Marcus, feel free to share the book with them, and please connect the editors with them also. You can reach the editors and writers at the book’s website: lionsroaringbook.com.

Here are a few questions that adoptive parents have asked me about the book.

Is it a positive or negative view of adoption?

It is a “real” view of adoption. Each of the 33 writers has a different perspective as they speak their truths. The book shows the range of attitudes and experiences. It also shows a range of views based on ages, since the writers are 8 to over 50 years old. Some essays note the adoptees’ Christian faith, and call adoption a blessing. There is discussion in the book of suicide and abuse. Some essays recall experiences in Ethiopia prior to being adopted. Some writers talk about painful childhood events in Ethiopia and in their adoptive country. Some talk about ways they are giving back to Ethiopia. There is mention of optimism, love of family, and resilience. Some essays are matter of fact; some are deeply emotional.

I urge adoptive parents of children of all ages to read the book. You can then talk with your children about it, in an age-appropriate way, whether they are 6 or 38 years old. It could open up a lot of new conversations.

Is the book child-friendly?

It is not meant for young children. The book reflects a wide range of lived experiences: good, bad, sad, encouraging, hopeful, angry, grief-filled, all of it. Whatever your child’s age, they might have had or will have some of the feelings in the book.

Are there essays by adoptees adopted as infants, or who have very little information about their families of origin?

Yes. The writers were adopted at a variety of ages, some with and some without their siblings. One co-editor was adopted as an infant to Canada, and the other was adopted at 6 years old with her twin sister to the US. A Swedish adoptee, adopted at one year old and now in his 50’s, wrote an essay about his DNA search and some unexpected connections. Most of the writers have little information about their Ethiopian families regardless of age at adoption; some have strong memories. Some have searched, some have reunited. Many have not done either, for a variety of reasons.

Here are some questions I haven’t been asked by adoptive parents.

Will I be uncomfortable or unsettled if I read this book?

At times, probably. If you are not an adopted person, you may well be startled or saddened by some of the insights that the writers offer. Some of the essays may affirm your views on adoption. Some may rattle them. That’s a good thing.

Can I just give the book to my teenage or adult son/daughter/child, without actually reading it myself?

Yes. And don’t do that. We adoptive parents must keep doing our work to understand what our kids are going through, to do so with open hearts and open eyes, and to learn how ideas and attitudes can change over time.

Can I give this book to friends, my non-adopted children, other adoptive parents, my Ethiopian friends, my adoption agency, my therapist, my children’s therapist, my parents, my siblings? What about folks with no close connection to adoption?

Yes! Please share the book and information about it with those who are tightly connected to adoption, those who have the rainbows-and-unicorns view, those who might be able to bring about changes in adoption policy: everyone. Thank you for doing this.

And again, thank you to every one of our writers, and to all those who have supported the book.

Adoptee Citizenship Bill Fails to Pass Again

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Our U.S. Congress has again failed to pass legislation that would grant citizenship to all international adoptees. This is deeply disappointing news, especially for those adoptees who have been deported.

Per the Adoptee Rights Campaign from their Facebook page, “S.967, the Adoptee Citizenship Act, did not pass. Unfortunately, this means H.R. 1593, the House companion bill, is also lost despite passage earlier this year…Though it is a sad day, we remain hopeful. Discussions for renewed strategies are taking place. ARC will post related updates in the next Congress.”

ARC and other organizations (among them, Adoptee Rights Law Center and Adoptees for Justice) and individuals have worked hard for years on the citizenship bill. The legislation would have granted citizenship to thousands of international adoptees, including those who have been deported.

Through no fault of their own, thousands of international adoptees do not have U.S. citizenship: their adoptive parents thought wrongly that citizenship was automatic; the paperwork for citizenship was wrongly filed, got lost, or was inaccurately processed; the adoption agencies did not provide information or oversight to the parents and families, requiring them to get citizenship for adopted children; and other reasons.

Those adoptees are now in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and older. Their legal status affects their quality of life, their peace of mind, their access to Social Security, and their connections with their families, including parents, spouses, children, and grandchildren.

The current failed legislation would have applied to adoptees who were 18 or older when the Child Citizenship Act was passed. That law granted US citizenship to international adoptees who were younger than 18 when the bill passed in 2000.

Thousands of adoptees do not hold citizenship; many might not even know it. They might find out when they vote (non-citizens can be prosecuted for voting), or get in trouble with the law (serving their time and then being deported), or apply for Medicare and other benefits at retirement.

For adoptees who have been deported, this is especially disappointing news. They thought as adopted children that they had “forever families” here in the U.S., and considered themselves Americans. One of the writers in our book “Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees” is Mike Davis. He’s 60 years old, a grandfather, and is alone in Addis Ababa where he was deported 17 years ago.

No international adoptee should ever be deported.

Mike, like other international adoptees, arrived here in the US as a child with the legal permission and oversight of both Ethiopia (the “sending” country) and the United States, to be part of his American family, including his adoptive father who was a U.S. Army officer.

Please keep these adoptees in your heart. Maybe say prayers for them, and for the granting of citizenship. This is an especially hard time of year for family separations and loss, and these adoptees are often struggling and alone.

Feel free to contact me if you want further information and/or to help the deported adoptees.

Suicides, December, Looking for Hope

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You may have heard about tWitch/Stephen Boss’s death by suicide. Just 40 years old, famous for being on the Ellen DeGeneres show and on Dancing With the Stars. He leaves a wife and three young children behind.

I’ve heard recently about another death by suicide: someone who seemed to have it all: family, career, health. And a dear friend of mine—we had known each other since high school—was found dead in his apartment. I don’t know the details of his death, though I know he had been ill, had been lonely, had been depressed, and died alone.

Some research:

From the Center for Disease Control: Middle-aged adults (aged 35–64 years) account for almost half of all suicides in the United States. Suicide is the 9th leading cause of death for this age group.

Veterans, people who live in rural areas, sexual and gender minorities, middle-aged adults, and tribal populations may disproportionately experience factors linked to suicide. These factors include substance use, job or financial problems, relationship problems, physical or mental health problems, and/or easy access to lethal means.

From the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention:

In 2020, men died by suicide 3.88x more than women. Almost four times more men than women.


In 2020, there were an estimated 1.2 million suicide attempts in the U.S..

Covid has brought a variety of heartache to so many people, and we continue to feel its impact. From the World Health Organization: “As people grapple with Covid’s health, social and economic impacts, mental health has been widely affected. Plenty of us became more anxious; but for some COVID-19 has sparked or amplified much more serious mental health problems. A great number of people have reported psychological distress and symptoms of depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress. And there have been worrying signs of more widespread suicidal thoughts and behaviours, including among health care workers.” 

I’ve written many times about the impact of trauma in adoption, as well as the link with the gut and with race. I’ve written about the fact that an American Academy of Pediatrics study showed that adoptees are four times more likely to attempt suicide than non-adoptees. Our recent book, Lions Roaring Far From Home: an Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees, is dedicated to Hana Williams and also to adoptees who died by suicide (eight are named in our Dedication). Several of the essays mention suicide.

It is a harsh reality.

And we cannot wring our hands and wish it were not so.

How to help? There are things we can all do.

Learn how to talk about suicide Asking someone if they are feeling suicidal is hard—and it can also make them feel less alone, give them a sense of relief that they can talk about it, and result in their getting needed help.

Check in on friends. So often folks seem successful and fine, and they may be: even so, take time to send a text or note or email.

Tell loved ones you love them. Tell them often. Let them know whenever you can.

Normalize tears and crying for men. Let (encourage even) men and boys to release their sorrows with tears. See that release as human and liberating.

Recognize the tyranny of social media and its impact on young people, especially. So many cruel comments. So many horrible news stories, of deaths and tragedy. We are deluged by cruelty. Give yourself a break from it, before it crushes your soul.

Learn the value of intentional breathing. Seriously. It helps with anxiety, and there is a lot of anxiety circulating these days. And share it with others.

December can be a very hard month. End of the year. In some places, the world is cold and gray, with little sun. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, there are so many messages about happy families, and going home for the holidays, and all the joys of Christmas. We are all supposed to be happy. Everyone else is happy. All those messages can conflict deeply with memories, traumaversaries, mental health, economic worries, health issues. There are strategies for dealing with the anniversaries of traumatic events, which can include holidays.

Learn about signs of suicide.

Share the 988 alternative to 911. 988 is “will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (now known as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), and is now active across the United States.

When people call, text, or chat 988, they will be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing Lifeline network. These trained counselors will listen, understand how their problems are affecting them, provide support, and connect them to resources if necessary.

The previous Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.”

For survivors of suicide (those who have attempted, and those whose loved ones have died by suicide), there are resources here, here, and here.

Take good care of yourself too. You matter, and we want you to stay.

South Korea Agrees to Investigate International Adoptions: This is Big.

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In an unprecedented move, one that other governments will hopefully look into, South Korea has agreed to investigate fraud and corruption in international adoptions from South Korea. According to NPR, South Korea’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission has said “it decided to investigate 34 cases,… which could possibly develop into the country’s most far-reaching inquiry into foreign adoptions yet.”

Further, “Nearly 400 South Koreans adopted as children by families in the West have requested South Korea’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission investigate their adoptions…as Seoul faces growing pressure to reckon with a child export frenzy driven by dictatorships that ruled the country until the 1980s.”

The Danish Korean Rights Group has been the leader in this effort, via Korean adoptee and attorney Peter Møller. The DKRG has filed hundreds of applications requesting an investigation, from adoptees raised in Denmark, Norway, the Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, and the US. The adoptees, per The Guardian, “say they were wrongfully removed from their families through falsified documents and corrupt practices.”

The investigation, according to Spectrum News, is rooted in “a broad range of grievances emphasizing how scores of children were carelessly or unnecessarily removed from their families amid loose government monitoring and a lack of due diligence. 

Perhaps more crucially, the country’s special laws aimed at promoting adoptions practically allowed profit-driven agencies to manipulate records and bypass proper child relinquishment. 

Most of the South Korean adoptees sent abroad were registered by agencies as legal orphans found abandoned on the streets, although they frequently had relatives who could be easily identified and found. This made the children more easily adoptable as agencies raced to send more kids to the West at faster speeds. 

‘None of us are orphans,’ said Peter Møller, attorney and co-head of the Danish Korean Rights Group, as he described the group’s members who filed the application. 

“(In) a lot of papers, the Korean state at the time have stamped papers that say people were found on the streets. If you do a little bit of math, that would mean that from the 1970s and 1980s Seoul would be flooded with baskets with children lying around in the streets. … Basements will be filled with lost child reports at police stations.

Some of the adoptees say they discovered that the agencies had switched their identities to replace other children who died or got too sick to travel to Danish parents, which made it highly difficult or often impossible to trace their roots. 

The adoptees called for the commission to broadly investigate the alleged wrongdoings surrounding their adoptions, including how agencies potentially falsified records, manipulated children’s backgrounds and origins, and proceeded with adoptions without the proper consent of birth parents. They want the commission to establish whether the government should be held accountable for failing to monitor the agencies and confirm whether the uptick in adoptions was fueled by increasingly larger payments and donations from adoptive parents, which apparently motivated agencies to create their own supply. 

The adoptees also called for the commission to push Holt Children’s Services and the Korea Social Service — the two agencies that sent kids to Denmark — into providing full access to the entirety of their adoption documents and background information. They also say all those records should be transferred to government authorities handling post-adoption services to prevent the information from being destroyed or manipulated.”

It is extraordinary and highly significant that South Korea has agreed to this investigation of fraud and duplicity. Will other sending countries follow this important example and do the same?

“Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees” Now Available on Amazon!

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I could not be more thrilled to announce that “Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees” has been published. You can purchase it (Kindle or paperback) on Amazon.

It is the first ever anthology by Ethiopian adoptees. The 33 writers hail from six countries, and they range in age from 8 to over 50. The essays and poems present a range of views on adoption, and each one is insightful.

Book cover with painting of Ethiopian woman standing proudly next to a roaring lion
Cover art Copyright Nahosenay Negussie

All of the writers are Ethiopian adoptees. They were raised in the U.S., Canada, France, Sweden, the Netherlands, and Australia. Two currently live in Ethiopia.

The co-editors are Aselefech Evans, an American Ethiopian adoptee, Kassaye Berhanu-MacDonald, a Canadian Ethiopian adoptee; I am also a co-editor, and am the adoptive mother of Ethiopian twin daughters as well as two sons born in the U.S.

Deep gratitude to each of the amazing writers for this groundbreaking book.

Debra Parris, European Adoption Consultant Staffer, Sentenced for Horrific Adoption Fraud and Corruption via Uganda and Poland

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Debra Parris, a staff member of the adoption agency European Adoption Consultants, was sentenced November 4 “to a year and a day in prison for bribing Ugandan officials and lying to Polish authorities about the adoption of a girl, who was later raped,” according to Cleveland.com.

The full Cleveland article is here.

The judge said Parris’s healthcare needs caused him to sentence her to less than the recommended sentence of three years. He also ordered Parris to pay a $10,000 fine and $118,197 in restitution to 42 families. He allowed her to self-report to prison by Jan. 9, unless the Bureau of Prisons directs her otherwise.

Among the victims of Parris’s crimes was adoptive parent Jessica Davis. Upon learning that her adopted daughter from Uganda had a loving family and had been fraudulently placed by European Adoption Consultants, Davis and her husband returned the child to her Ugandan mother. You can read more about the family here.

At the sentencing, according to Cleveland,com, “Davis gave a tearful statement during Friday’s hearing, conducted via Zoom. She pleaded with the judge to give a harsh sentence to send a message to adoptions agencies that fraud can’t be tolerated.

‘I waited for this moment for a long time, specifically for Debra,” Davis said. “You caused a lot of people pain and suffering.'”

Jessica Davis and her family took action that many adoptive parents would not, and they handled their adoption with integrity when they returned the child. The Ugandan child is, by all reports, thriving back home with her family.

Also from the Cleveland article, “Parris in November pleaded guilty to two charges of conspiring to commit fraud. Two others— Cole and former agency employee Robin Longoria— also pleaded guilty in the case. Cole, who also had serious health issues, was sentenced to three months in prison. Longoria was sentenced to one year and one day in prison, similar to Parris.”

European Adoption Consultants caused unconscionable damage to children and their families. While some justice is served with the guilty pleas and in the sentencings of the agency staffers, I wonder what restitution the Ugandan and Polish children could receive. The case of the Polish child is horrifying.

Jessica Davis wrote this on CNN in 2017:

“The travesty in this injustice is beyond words. I must be clear in the following statement: My race, country of origin, wealth (though small, it’s greater than that of the vast majority of people in the world), my access to “things,” my religion – none of these privileges entitles me to the children of the poor, voiceless and underprivileged.

If anything, I believe these privileges should come with a responsibility to do more, to stand up against such injustices. We can’t let other families be ripped apart to grow our own families!”

National Council for Adoption Releases New Report on Adoptive Parents

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The National Council for Adoption recently released, in their words, “the largest survey ever conducted of adoptive parents.” You can read the results here: “Profiles in Adoption: A Survey of Adoptive Parents and Secondary Data Analysis of Federal Adoption Files.”

Here are a few of my observations, and, as an adoptive parent, I hope that adoptees and birth parents (and adoptee- and birth parent-researchers) will weigh in.

The NCFA survey was funded by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, and by Gift of Adoption, which has dispensed some $14 million in adoption assistance grants to adoptive parents.

Responses were from 4,212 adoptive parents—representing 4,135 households and parents to 6,608 adopted individuals—residing in all 50 states and Washington, D.C. These adoptions occurred between 1966 and August 2021, with 74.9% completed since 2010, including 55.9% since 2015.

90% of the respondent adoptive parents were white. (Latine/x 3%; Black 2%; Asian/Asian Pacific Islander 2%, American Indian/Alaskan Native 1%; Multiracial 1%, with 0.6% reporting “other.”)

Whether private infant adoption, intercountry adoption, or adoption from foster care, around 80% of the adoptive parents are Christian/Catholic.

In terms of income, 72% of adoptive parents in private domestic adoption had an income over $75,000. The percentage was 62% for intercountry adoptive parents and 54% for parents who adopted from foster care.

In terms of education, 81% of adoptive parents in private domestic adoption had a bachelor’s degree or higher. The percentage was 84% for intercountry adoptive parents and 63% for parents who adopted from foster care.

The survey looks at Special Needs in adoption, and, astonishingly to me, on page 40 has a category titled “Mental Retardation.” Since Congress passed Rosa’s Law in 2010, the preferred designation is “intellectual disability.”

The survey does not note the ages of adopted children at the time of adoption, nor of the current ages of the adoptees. I believe that information would have been useful to the analysis.

The survey did not shy from using what some in the adoption community see as language of commodification: “Adoptive parents were asked five questions related to their satisfaction with adoption. Overall, adoptive parents expressed very significant satisfaction.” (Some in the adoption community see this phrasing as akin to “product or purchase satisfaction.”)

Indeed, here are the “Key Takeaways for Adoptive Parents’ Satisfaction:

• A large majority of adoptive parents find their role to be rewarding and satisfying.

• With the perspective of lived experience, adoptive parents report they would still make the same decision to adopt their child.”

Adoptive parents of International adoptions were also asked about their satisfaction with Intercountry Adoption Service Providers. Adoptive parents through private domestic adoption and through foster care were not asked (or results were not included) about their satisfaction with their attorneys or other service providers.

There is much to be parsed from the survey answers regarding race. As previously noted, 90% of the respondent parents are white. In the case of transracial adoptions, the survey says “A large majority of adoptive parents who have a child of a different race/ethnicity seek to participate in activities to incorporate elements of the child’s race, ethnicity, and culture.” While that may be a basic first step, it’s hardly a strong example of much needed anti-racist education. The words “racism,” “colorblindness,” and “anti-racism” do not appear in the report. (Here is one example of the perspective of Black and brown adoptees on how their white adoptive parents handled race: “I know my parents love me, but they don’t love my people.”)

From the section in the survey on Future Research: “The National Council For Adoption views this report as just Part One of a three-part series examining profiles in adoption. There is no single survey, focus group, or data set that can tell us everything we would like to know about adoption. In Part One, we heard from adoptive parents. We also intend to hear from birth parents and adopted individuals in upcoming research reports. Taken together, the three reports in this series will give us a fuller picture of adoption.”

I find it striking and not surprising that the first report is on adoptive parents, the people who hold and have held the most power in adoption policy. (One could argue that white, financially secure, well educated Christians have long held the most power in our society overall.)

The two authors of the report are Ryan Hanlon, the executive director of NCFA, and Matthew Quade, associate professor of business management at Baylor University. Both men are adoptive parents, and both hold PhDs.

I look forward to reading the NCFA reports on birth parents and adoptees, as to the numbers of respondents, the demographics (race, age, education, income, etc.), their perspective on “satisfaction,” whether they would still make the same decisions (adoptees of course rarely have agency in the adoption decision), and noting who funds the surveys of adoptees and birth parents. I hope the authors of the next two reports are themselves adopted persons and birth parents. I also hope the survey-takers contact the birth/first parents of international adoptees, and I look forward to reading those results.

I look forward to a time when all children have safe, loving families, and when children are not removed from their families of origin due to poverty, economic imbalance, or systemic racism. I also look forward to the equitable distribution of funding and of pre- and post-adoption services to all birth parents (including International birth families). I especially look forward to deeper, well funded, accessible, and equitable advocacy for family preservation.