Great partnerships are developing among adult Ethiopian adoptees, and between them and their allies. This one is about efforts to help adult adoptees travel back to Ethiopia.
If you are not following Les Adoptes D’Ethopie, a public Facebook group for Ethiopian adoptees raised in France, you might have missed this bit of news, posted by Annette-Kassaye. Annette is an Ethiopian adoptee, raised in Montreal, Canada. She learned to speak both English and French, and now participates in Les Adoptes D’Ethiopie. Annette is a good friend of my daughter Aselefech Evans, whose blog EthioAmerican Daughter recently featured (in English and French) the story of Yared, a French adoptee. Annette and Aselefech are co-founders of Ethiopian Adoptees of the Diaspora (EAD), a global group for adult Ethiopian adoptees only. There is also a public EAD page open to anyone here.
D’accord. Here is Annette’s recent post on Les Adoptes Ethiopie:
“Bonjour tout le monde,
Moi, Aselefech Evans, Maureen McCauley Evans allons travailler sur un projet qui faciliterait le retour en Éthiopie pour les adoptés.
Chaque semaine (ou plusieurs fois par semaine), je suis étonnée de voir autant d’adoptés exprimer leurs désire de retourner et aussi leurs craintes et réticence d’y aller seule, avec leurs parents adoptifs ou avec leurs assos. C’est fou que nous travaillons tous dans nos petits coins quand qu’on pourrait faire quelque chose de grand qui faciliterait la vie de tout le monde, autant nous, nos parents et les jeunes adoptes et les futurs adoptés qui désiront retourner un jour pour connaitre leurs origine. Bref…. je vous tiendrai au courant de ce projet, je pense qu’il y a un grand besoin. <3”
And now, an automatically generated translation in English:
Re – hello everyone,
“Aselefech Evans, Maureen McCauley Evans, and I are working on a project that would facilitate the return to Ethiopia for adoptees.
Each week (or several times per week ), I am surprised to see so many adoptees express their desire to return and also their fears and reluctance to go alone, or with their adoptive parents or with their associates. It’s crazy that we are all working in our small corners when we could do something big that would facilitate the life of everyone, just as we, our parents and young people adopted. And the future adoptees that would like to return one day to know their origins. In short…. I will keep you informed of this project. I think there is a great need. ≺3”
Aselefech, Annette, and I have been talking about this for a while. The project is in very early stages, and the focus is this:
Many Ethiopian adult adoptees would like to return to Ethiopia but struggle with the expense. Some may not have been back since they left Ethiopia as small children.
Some adult adoptees do not want to travel with their adoptive parents. Some adoptive parents do not want to travel to Ethiopia, and will not or cannot assist their children in traveling. Some adult adoptees would like to travel back alone, some with other adoptees, some with their partners, spouses, or friends.
Some would like assistance and support (not necessarily financial) in the arrangements for travel in Ethiopia. This would mean the usual items such as hotel/guest houses, meals, translators, tour guides, drivers, etc., but also resources in Ethiopia that are specific to adopted persons, such as adoption-competent social workers and translators with fluency in multiple languages. Connecting with other adoptees who have traveled and searched for birth family would also be important.
Some adoptees are interested in searching and spending time with their birth families. Some have not been able to locate birth family members. Some would like to participate in projects to help Ethiopia (literacy, clean water, health care, etc.) while they are visiting.
Models for this undertaking exist in Korea, where adult adoptees have been very active. KoRoot and GOA’L provide wonderful, established models of adoptee-led organizations designed to support adoptees traveling to their country of birth.
We hope, of course, to see the services envisioned in Ethiopia extended to Ethiopian birth/first families, such as translators and adoption-competent social workers.
One effort already up and successfully running is Ethiopian Adoption Connection (EAC), a database in which Ethiopian families can enter information about children they have placed for adoption, in an effort to locate them. Adoptive families and adopted individuals can enter their information as well, and already there have been several matches. The site is in English and Amharic.
Currently, an Ethiopian first/birth family is looking for news about a boy adopted at age 7 in 2007 from the Kembata Tembaro area, possibly to the US or Italy. Information is available here. Please share this with others, and take a look at all the entries on the EAC page.
EAC has a lot of helpful information, including online groups for adoptive families and adoptees, as well as this master’s thesis on Ethiopian birth/first mothers’ experiences.
Some 13,000 Ethiopian children have been adopted to the United States. Thousands more have been adopted to Canada, western Europe, and Australia. While most are still minors, many are adults. Some are turning their hearts, eyes, and feet toward their country of birth. Let’s join them on the journey.
Thanks, June! I think so too.
I am curious as to why some do not want their adoptive parents involved. I think it is so important to have the support of their parents so that they are able to communicate all that they have experienced and the emotions that they may have so that they have the support of their family. Don’t get me wrong, I totally support this idea. Just curious as to why they would not want their families involved.
What my daughter, then 13 (adopted as an infant) expressed to us was: I’m nervous about meeting them in front of you…what if they still don’t want me?
Now, at 15, she sees the contact with her birth country and first family differently, and has expectations of her next trip that involve much more independence from her adoptive parents. I think that’s both perfectly appropriate, developmentally, and a great sign that she’s integrating all of her truths about who she is.
(I hope that an (adult) adoptee can address this complex issue of loyalties and hope and rejection more fully, from a mature perspective, but I think a lot of APs may share your question.)
Really good point here, Alex, about how approaches and attitudes toward birth families can change over time. That mix of “loyalties and hope and rejection” is a powerful one.
Good question, Mary. My experience has been that some adult adoptees simply (well, it’s often not all that simple) do not have their parents’ support (emotional or financial) to search and/or reunite. Some are estranged from their adoptive parents. Some want to take the journey with friends or spouses/partners, rather than parents. Sometimes, yes, it’s a purposeful distancing from or isolating of the adoptive parents. Sometimes it’s a matter of comfort, around travel or emotions. I’ve seen adult adoptees who are later able to better communicate and heal with their adoptive parents after a search that did not include the adoptive parents.
Great idea! yay!
Thanks, Andrea! I agree. We appreciate the support.