Wondering, Searching, Reuniting: Closure?

IMG_7975

 

Update: The film is now available via Hulu and DVD; visit the Closure website and the Facebook page.

Yesterday I attended the world premiere of the new documentary Closure. The event was held at the Langston Hughes Art Institute here in Seattle, and the audience included the filmmaker Bryan Tucker and his wife Angela, who is also the subject of the film.

The film follows Angela’s journey from Chattanooga, Tennessee, as an African-American baby born with very tight muscles, spending a year in foster care, and receiving a prognosis that she probably would never walk. Walk, run, play basketball–she did all that and more.

Angela was placed as a baby with white parents in Washington state. She grew up in Bellingham (along with 7 adopted siblings, in a loving, diverse family), went to college at Seattle Pacific University, and now works as an adoption specialist for the agency that placed her, Bethany Christian Services.

Like many adoptees (and perhaps specially like many transracial adoptees), Angela had thought about her birth family while growing up, but didn’t start her search until she was over 18. She had little to work with: 3 pages from the adoption agency describing her birth family, with last names whited out. Still–it was enough. Between that, and the doorway that is the Internet, Facebook, and Google, she was able (relatively easily) to put the pieces together.

Note to adoptive parents, whether your children were placed from the US or from anywhere in the world: Increasing numbers of adoptees are searching and/or being found via the Internet, Facebook, and Google. It’s almost inevitable.

Over a couple of years, Angela met her birth father, who hadn’t known about her existence. Wow. She attempted to meet with her birth mother, who initially rebuffed her. Wow.

Not that these scenarios are unusual in adoption.

Angela talks in the film about how much she valued having her adoptive family accompany her on the journey, not just providing moral support but going with her to Tennessee, more than once. The footage of Angela’s adoptive mom, dad, siblings, in-laws, and husband is powerful because it reflects the real emotions of search and reunion: fear, confusion, doubt, deep love, empathy, hope.

In fact, the role of siblings is enormously important here, not only in Angela’s adoptive family but absolutely in her birth family. I think sometimes we adoptive parents focus on the birth family’s presence and/or absence, and can easily forget the role of siblings for adoptees–and also cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles.

A big shout out also to the role of loving foster parents in adoptees’ lives.  Seeing Angela reunite with them was among the film’s more moving parts (and there were many). Her foster mom had never forgotten Angela.

Angela’s husband Bryan clearly is a big source of support for her. As a non-adoptee, he may have worked hard to understand and help her with her questions and decisions; his love and empathy are quiet and tenacious. This is his first film. Wow again. When I talked with him yesterday, he told me that the film happened somewhat by chance–wanting to document conversations and initial forays toward reunion (some taped on cell phone) evolved over time to an awareness of the value and uniqueness of the journey.

Angela and her husband Bryan Tucker, also the filmmaker, at the Q&a after yesterday's showing of Closure.

Angela and her husband Bryan Tucker, also the filmmaker, at the q&a after yesterday’s showing of Closure.

In the q&a after the movie, Angela said that while the movie’s called Closure, she hasn’t reached closure. An important point again for us adoptive parents, and for anyone involved with search and reunion. Thinking about searching, doing the search, meeting birth family–questions may be answered, but there’s often still a long way to go. That’s okay. Angela’s observation (like Angela herself) is honest, compassionate, and insightful.

It takes courage to start journeys sometimes, and courage to document them, and courage to share the very personal journey with others. We in the adoption community are fortunate to have this documentary. I hope it gets widely seen and shared, and creates a lot of conversations. Many thanks to Angela and her families.

Angela Tucker and I after yesterday's showing of Closure

Angela Tucker and I after yesterday’s showing of Closure

8 thoughts on “Wondering, Searching, Reuniting: Closure?

  1. Pingback: “You Are Like The Whitest Black Person I Know!” | Light of Day Stories

  2. I searched for (& was successful in finding) my birth father back in ’07. I had been looking online for a few years but nothing had turned up. I finally caught a break when I accidentally misspelled his name in a google search and, low and behold, there he was! I was 34 at the time. Anyways, I created http://www.findfamilyafar.com to help others who are in the same or similar circumstances. Please feel free to take a look. FFA is unique in that it creates a great “exposure” piece that is very useful for those persons (ie parents) that may be searching for you right now. Use of the site is totally free and there is no obligation. Hope this helps and perhaps will see you on http://www.findfamilyafar.com. Good luck!

    • Thanks, Gina. Your site looks interesting. I’m giving a workshop this Monday (11/11) at the national conference of the Association of Personal Historians, and I’ll include your site as a resource.

  3. Bless you, Maureen….for your focus on adoption and your blog writings. I searched high and low for a review on “Closure” and finally found it here! My interest in this film is growing even stronger with the addition of your view. Thank you.

Add your comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s